WTF?! Wednesday ~ The Pet Trashcan At 7-11

September 18, 2013September 18, 20132 Comments

Hello everyone! I have yet another Wednesday off (and Thursday AND Friday!) It’s Chuseok, which is essentially Korea’s Thanksgiving, and my happy excuse to not go to school / take care of “me” stuff. Last year at this time I was saying “konichiwa bitches” to the typhoon in Osaka and Kyoto, and this year I’m laying low and opting for that money sucking trip to Tokyo in 2 weeks over our NEXT long weekend! I love fall in Korea because it feels like every week we have another long weekend or random day off in the middle of the week. It’s quite loverly! Tomorrow I’m going to head on over to Chuncheon and Nami Island about 1.5 hours away by subway to do some exploring and perhaps some bike riding, my fave thing to do in foreign countries.

On with it now! Wednesday means one thing, and that is to grace your eyeballs with something weird and odd and bizarre and totally Korean. So, this week I bring you this trash can of a gem sign. I ran into 7-11 on my walk to the subway en route to school the other morning, and noticed this sign on the trash can that never seemed to grab my attention before.

I know Korea is quick to dispose of their pets once they outgrow that “cute” phase (whenever that happens), but ummmmm. I would advise against throwing your pet away in the 7-11 trashcan (or anywhere since we’re on the topic).

I’m still trying to figure out a logical acronym that “pets” could stand for, but I’m stumped. That, and the Korean “페트” literally reads “pet”. Maybe they meant pet poop?

Has anyone in Korea seen this and willing to enlighten a sista? Until that time comes, you are welcome to throw away your pet like an empty ramen cup 😦

Lucky Number 3?

April 29, 2013June 1, 2013Leave a comment

Remember this post? Well, scratch that.

Here’s a sentence I never envisioned myself uttering during those tear-fest drives to LAX on August 16, 2011 and January 25, 2013: “Year 3 in Korea is happening.”

Yep. I have renewed for one more year, and the 3 letters W-T-F are still swimming thru my brain.

I knew by going home in January I’d ramp up my anxiety a bit about the future. I live a rather anxiety-free life, especially in Korea, except when money or big changes are happening, which I think is fairly normal. However, when it kicks in, it kicks into full blown I’m-not-slowing-down-to-even-let-you-sleep mode. The past 1.5 years in Korea have been completely void of this feeling, which is the most wonderful thing ever. That is, until recently. Dun dun dun.

Up until 2, maybe 2.5 weeks ago, I was completely 110% set on the fact that I would be leaving Korea by September 2013 at the very latest. I had started thinking I’d go to another country in Asia (maybe Hong Kong, Taiwan or China) for a new experience after traveling India and going home for a bit. Then shit started getting more real. There’s only 4 months of our current contract left, and I realized I’m almost 30 and need to have a more stable plan in order for that return home, and then the jumping off point after to go off without a hitch. I know myself, and if I were to go home with just the money I’d leave Korea with (which would be a pretty penny after 2 years!) I’d sit and stew at home about my next move, blow that cash in the process, and my anxiety would be left even worse.

So, in the long run, a year is only a year, and for my own sanity it’ll be easier for me to get my ducks in a row this year abroad than it would be to do the same thing at home in the crazy Schaeff abode. Not to mention, I’ll basically be doubling the money that I’m going to be leaving Korea with. I never thought I’d be here for 3 years, and I thought I’d have my shit together, but turns out that even though this year has been awesome, I feel like I didn’t do anything remotely proactive to make that happen. So big girl pants must be worn this year. And I plan to write a lot in the process.

I know my mom is not happy about it, per our 10 minute phone call resulting in a swift click of End Call, and Sista wants me home for her and the pups. But, after talking to some pretty unbiased close friends who have their heads tightly screwed on straight, my dad, and lots of introspective Seoul searching, accompanied by a very trusty dusty Pros/Cons list, I feel that I’ve made the adult, mature, responsible decision. Even though my heart is running rampant and can’t flutter straight, my head is the only thing that feels remotely clear, so I’m ultimately happy with my decision, albeit the massive pit in my stomach. Plus, that means more travel adventures para mi, and there ain’t NOTHIN wrong with that! 🙂

Oh, and I will also be looking into finding a new apartamento in a more central locale, because home girl can’t hang in the boonies of North Korea (not really) for one more year. And word on the street is that a good handful of my loves will still be around, so that is easing me just a skotch.

So folks, you’ve got 16 more months to find a way to make me even more popular than I already have been in the visitor department. August 2014 will be my OFFICIAL OFFICIAL departure date from South Korea. You’ve got my word 🙂

And one last OH! I’m going to look into flights home for August. I know, twice in one year…CRAY! But, this is in order to make Mama Schaeff and Sista a little happier, and to ease my probably forthcoming anxiety if I were to come home in January. I may try to come to NYC as well, so I will keep all you fine lovelies abreast 🙂

ByeBye, HeyHey ~ Off You Go To “A Whole New World”

April 18, 2013June 1, 20132 Comments

I can’t believe I am even writing this post. It actually pisses me off that I’m making myself do this. However, I’ve come to use this blog space of mine to pay a little love to the people near and far who I want to give a big virtual hug to no matter where we both reside in the world at any present moment at any present time on any day of dire significance.

This one is dedicated to my beautiful Stephanie Anne Heyduck, who has become one of the nearest and dearest to my heart during this last year and a half in Korea. It makes me really sad that her time here has expired, but that’s what comes with the expat territory. Those who we become so close with weave in and out of our lives and that’s that. I guess it’s what we indirectly signed up for in choosing a lifestyle fueled by wanderlust; bonding together with others who also thrive on that same passion to wander and move about this glorious globe to explore and conquer.

As we’ve cuddled, danced and traveled our way through an ever-growing friendship, it’s always been apparent to me that Steph is totally one of those people who is unbelievably wise beyond her 25 years. Whether it be in matters of the heart or the world, she always manages to have the wild child in check with the mature adult who’s got their head screwed on straight. She’s also one of those people that just knows something about everything, no matter the topic. I only know a few of those kinds of people and she’s one of them. It always kind of amazes me and I’m just like WHA?! Where you come from?! She’s a special one, and I love her dearly.

Now for a little journey thru some of my fave highlights of the past year and a half frolicking thru the far East together 🙂

The first time I met Steph was when Jeanette and Carmen were visiting. It was maybe my 3rd week living in Seoul, and Jeanette and Steph realized they had practically matching tattoos. Friends.Seoulmates.WHAT.

Here’s the first time Steph, Katie, Abby and I officially became a foursome after each others hearts. We hiked to the top of Namsan Tower and then struggled to take this photo in the geographical center of Seoul! Many of my “I’m so happy I’m in Korea moments” have been spent with these ladies, and they’ll all always hold one of the most special places in my little Korean heart.

She introduced me to one of my favorite Korean foods, Shabu Shabu, in the Ying Yang pot, one freezing cold night after shopping our butts off in Myeong-dong. Nom.

We’ve had some shenanigans, and this was one random night out on the town while everyone else got down on a bus filled with soju. Hey, we all make mistakes. She dragged me, she loves me despite it 😉

We got money hungry at the Trick Eye Museum. AKA the most fun museum EVER!

Then we got ballsy and decided to eat some live octopus together for the first time. Actually not so bad and kinda fun.

Somewhere around this time we decided we’d bare it all and get naked with each other at the jjimjilbang. We did, and it was weird for like 2 minutes, and then it was awesome, and then we went again, and we became obsessed even though we didn’t do it as often as we thought we would. But still. It brought us as close as 2 naked platonic girlfriends can get. Both in and outside of our sexy jjimjilbang attire.

Her family came to visit, got us smashed to pieces during her mom’s first date with soju, and then Papa Heyduck did a sorority pose in this photo with us all.

There were a couple girls nights in. This may have been what they started out looking like.

And then the aftermath to the tune of some Disney movies and Twilight and makkoli and soju.

Then we took on a bit of traveling together. First came that unforgettable typhoon of a trip to Japan where we rode bikes around Kyoto…

Got our plans “horribly” rearranged by an unexpected typhoon…

And then relocated ourselves to the nearest karaoke room where Steph gave us this private show (before I inevitably hogged the mic). Adele or Celine perhaps? The sake won’t allow me to remember. Whatever the song, her voice sang it magically. From this moment on we became noraebang obsessed.

Shortly after, we went to go Barack the vote together. We were VERY excited to make our voices heard.

And after he won the election, the two of us rented out the VIP room at a local noraebang in Itaewon (because it was the only one available), drank ourselves silly on a Wednesday night, and sang our Disney hearts wild for 2 hours because we were so happy for our man Barry. One of my all time fave Steph & Dani moments to date. “I can show you the worldddddddd……”

Of course by far one of my favorite things everrrrr that we’ve done was going to Thailand and Laos together this past February. You don’t really know someone til you either live or travel with them, and we traveled really really well together. We had such an amazing time playing with elephants and tigers, cooking exotic cuisine, crossing the border like a coupla Mexican cholas in the back of one too many pick-up trucks, and meeting lovely French lassies and gorgeous Argentinian men along the way. (I have majorly slacked in posting about that trip, but it will be coming soon, I promise. Eeeep!)

Needless to say, friendship is nothin if you’re not there to help hoist your friend’s fat ass up on top of a hormonal elephant…

Or sit down next to each other in some tiger pee to get those one-in-a-million shots in life!

Tonight after Abby and I had to fight back premature tears while saying bye to Steph at our 2nd to last dinner together, we were talking about when we first signed up to move our lives to Korea. We had envisioned living amongst a new culture, with new foods, new experiences, new travels, a new language to make up the white noise in our background, and we knew we’d make friends abroad. But, we both made the connection that neither of us had really put much thought into the relationships we were going to build and who would soon become our family whilst carrying on our new lives. I guess you don’t really plan or think about those types of things because they’re organic and happen as they will. With the ending of year one a slew of great loves left, but Stephanie is my first great girlfriend who’s been there since the beginning, to leave Korea, and that’s a killer. Great girlfriends are not easy to find, and she is just one of those friends that I am so lucky to have snatched up.

To wrap it all up, I love you Stepaneeeeee, and I’m gonna miss you, like, times 10 million to the max. But, I know we are both wanderers and this is just a BIG “see ya later”. My time spent in Korea would never have been quite the same without you in it, and I hope this next chapter of your life is a lot less (kimchi) smelly, but just as fulfilling as the past 2 years have been. I love you to infinity and beyondddddddd.

<3,

Dani

My Quest To Rock The Eye Chart

March 23, 2013June 1, 20131 Comment

I still remember the first pair of spectacles I ever owned. I was in 2nd grade and they were a very stylish plastic girly frame fading from magenta to purple to a deep blue. It was pretty much love at first “ok, if I really have to wear them.” We bought them in the shopping center in Agoura where Subway and TJ Maxx are. I swear I have the most freakishly weird memory for odd detail. I had those for a second, then I graduated to these brown and black speckled gems, which I believe I really should have kept because I could have rocked them all these years later, but of course looked (and posed) a whole lot cooler.

Then in 4th grade Mama Schaeff forced me to go to Eye Therapy so that I could start wearing hard contact lenses and stop imitating my dad putting his own contacts in with my own piece of very thin ice…(there goes my memory again). I HATED Eye Therapy, but I think in some odd way it made me develop a bizarre love for going to the eye doctor. So, then in 4th grade I was forced each morning to pop my hard contacts into my eyeballs even though they felt really weird, and then pop them out of my eyeballs with this tiny plunger because I was too young to figure out how to do it with my own two fingers. This is what I looked like every night, minus the fancy nail polish, and i bit my nails back then:

Then I grew up a little and decided I wanted my eyes to be different colors, and those colors only came in soft contacts. So I had blue eyes and really green eyes, and then my eyes got fucked, for lack of a better word. Those contacts were really bad, especially when worn for too long. They’re not specifically shaped to your eye and then the printing that goes onto the lenses is also not very good. In mid 2006 my eyes started getting really red all the time, probably because I would get drunk and pass out in my contacts, but then it would just never go away, and then it got worse. It was to the point where I could barely see when I would drive and even looking at the computer would hurt my eyes and they’d water uncontrollably. Most of you know the long story, but after countless optometrists, ophthalmologists, eyedrops and months, I had Keratitis, or a really bad bacterial infection, thus resulting in the spectacles that are now part of my essence.

It actually took me a while to get used to having to wear them all. the. time. I hated having something covering my face, it felt ugly and like people couldn’t see ME. Then it just flipped and they became a part of me, and before long I felt weird without them. Now I’m pretty much at the point where I feel normal with or without them, but very much “Danielle” with my spectacles.

HOWEVER…….

Now that I’m in Korea I have decided to get laser eye surgery, something I have always had in the back of my head because, well, why not? But, I’ve always envisioned it as something out of reach because in the States it’s so expensive, the charge is per eye, and my eyes have been through the ringer and back. Korea, on the contrary, offers the surgery for a flat rate and for even less than half the cost I’d pay back home. At home I would probably be looking at paying anywhere between $5,000-$7,000 total for both eyes with my vision, astigmatism and myopia, whereas in Korea I’m going to be looking at around $1,300. Many of you are probably thinking “UMM Danielle, is it safe????? Don’t DO THAT.” But it is. Korea is LEGIT. It is a 1st world country, and is actually a major surgery destination in the world. Many people come here specifically to have any number of surgeries done because it is so highly regarded and so frequently practiced with top notch doctors and results. So not to worry. I have also been on three different consultations to weigh all my options.

Now for a brief overview of the three consultations I went on for anyone else who reads this on their quest to reading eye charts perfectly.

**All consults took about 2 hours and go through an assembly line of different machines to check everything about your eyes.

CONSULTATION 1: DREAM EYE CENTER (www.hellolasik.com/eng_site/)

Dream caters to foreigners, so it was the first place that I went to. My friend Casey went there last year for a consultation but never actually got the surgery because he was scared after being told his myopia (steepness of cornea) was too high. Turns out mine is even higher! The optometrist who helped me was wonderful, super sweet, spoke perfect English and explained everything she was doing the entire time. It was very informative, so when I met with the doctor I felt like I had a good idea of what to expect. I also really liked the doctor. He told me that since my cornea is very thin, my astigmatism is super high, my myopia is very steep (not the steepest he’s seen, but still pretty steep), and my eyes are extremely dry, I’d have to have LASEK instead of LASIK done, which has a more painful and longer recovery time, but with less chance of complication. He was also very honest and said that about 10% of people with my eye condition do sometimes regress in their vision after surgery, so there is a chance that my vision won’t stick to 20/20 afterwards. It wouldn’t go back to my current vision, just wouldn’t be 20/20. Also, given the thinness of my cornea, he said I would only be able to have the surgery once, without any chance of a touch-up surgery if I were to regress. After surgery, they would also make an eye serum from my blood that would help with the pain. They also take a DNA swap prior to surgery to test for a gene that would make the surgery ineffective.

In the end, they quoted me at 1.8million won, and that’s down from 2.2million won for having a referral and if I write a testimonial. I told them that I was going to sit on it and think because I wanted to weigh my options given the percentage for regression after surgery. So I left with a pamphlet with all my eye info to look over in a neat packet.

CONSULTATION 2: BRIGHT EYES ST. MARY’S (http://www.oklasik.com)

I read about this place on a few blogs so I made an appointment, but I’m not going to say much about this place because I couldn’t stand them. I felt extremely rushed, and about the only redeeming quality about them was the girl Chloe who was the English translator, and the prescription they wrote me for the artificial tears and special ointment I’d need to take for the scars that are on my cornea. I knew I had to do this already so I took the prescription in preparation for my third consultation so I had a head start. The optometrist got all huffy with me when I couldn’t accurately read the eye charts, and she was extremely short with me. I basically got shoved into the doctor’s chair without even a hello, and then quickly ushered out without a goodbye. I attributed it to the language barrier, but I think most doctors have a basic knowledge of English, especially one working in such an affluent area as Gangnam, so a hello and goodbye would have been nice. Then it was a back and forth between nurses who could mime things to me until Chloe came because they realized I actually had questions pertaining to a surgery. Duh.

I ended up leaving with a prescription for the artificial tears, ointment and a follow-up appointment that I intended on cancelling. They didn’t give me any neat pamphlet with my eye results like Dream did, and I didn’t know who my doctor would be. They ended up quoting me at 1.5million won.

CONSULTATION 3: GANGNAM ST. MARY’S (http://www.perfectvision.co.kr)

This was by far my favorite of the three, and I don’t think it was because it was the final one I went to. I was referred by my friends Jeremy and 4names who both had their eyes done a while back with sparkling results. I made the appointment with the English speaking girl who works there named Yunmi, and she was SO accommodating and helpful. The first time I had actually called and they only spoke Korean so they had her call me back even though she wasn’t working, so when she called I was super confused how she had my number, but then it clicked. Anyways, I went in today, and right when I walked in she greeted me through the bustling waiting room and helped me fill out the medical form. I then had an English speaking optometrist who did the most thorough eye exam of all three that I had been on. I had told them about my previous Keratitis and they had the doctor check my eyes before they took the special measurement of my pupil to make sure I was bacteria free before moving forward. None of the others did that even though I had told them my history. After all the tests were over I met with the doctor again and also told him about the prescription I had begun taking. He advised me to keep taking it, and take the ointment 2x a day instead of once because if the scars on my corneas don’t go away then I can’t have the surgery. He also told me that I have about a 5% chance of regression if I have the surgery, and there is a possibility for a second surgery if regression does happen. He broke down the numbers right in front of me too which was very reassuring. Told me the thickness of my cornea, how much they take away, what it will be after, and so on. So I made a follow-up appointment for Thursday to check my scars and hope for a big fat YES YOU CAN HAVE SURGERY.

They ended up quoting me at 1.7million won if I have the surgery in April or 1.5million won if I have it done in March, but I’m hoping they give me the 1.5 deal even if I have it in April because I came with the referrals and both friends got it done at 1.5 or 1.4. They also offer a payment plan broken up into 3 months which will help out tremendously.

In sum, it’s not a 100% go YET, but I’m going to be extremely anal in dropping those artificial tears and applying the ointment because I would love to be able to see the world for the first time through crystal clear perfect eyeballs. I can’t even remember a time when I could see clearly, so eye surgery is still impossible for me to even fathom, but it’s getting there.

Cross your fingers, toes and eyes for me pretty please with a big fat cherry on top with sprinkles! More to obviously come on this at a later date!

I Barack’d the Vote!

October 15, 2012June 1, 20132 Comments

This weekend I checked one big thing off my to-do list! I voted in my third Presidential election, and filled out my first absentee ballot, which was a bit exciting! I’ve been trying to figure out the process to vote from abroad for the past couple weeks but kept getting confused. Then, my friend Josh told me that the US Embassy was having a special day for all foreigners to come and cast their absentee ballots. Ka-ching! Off we went to BARACK THE VOTE!

I never pay much attention to politics, but I’ve gotten quite interested and eager to listen to the debates and all the hooha going on with the upcoming election. Perhaps a sign that I am getting older? Also, screw Romney for trying to take away our ovary’s rights.

Here is a picture of mine, Steph’s and Josh’s absentee ballots ready to be sent off to our designated counties in California, Washington and Florida. All of us proudly Barack’d the vote (I’m gonna keep saying that til it goes out of style…which will be never).

And another posing with the seal at the US Embassy in Seoul, ballots in hand.

Hopefully Obama wins, because I’m really excited to be home in the states for it on my birthday AKA Inauguration day AKA January 20th! #fourmoreyears (Yes I just hastagged in a blog post, so what).

WaWa & SchaeffSchaeff in KoKo

May 22, 2012June 1, 2013Leave a comment

I just had my 9 month Korean anniversary last Thursday, May 17th. Holy shit! In the 9 months that I could have been with child, I have had 5 visitors, 4 of which hail from the Orient. Damn I’m popular, especially amongst the Eastern folk. The last most amazing friend in the world to trek their ass across the world for me with a bag full of cheese and other American delicacies was my lil WAWA!!! Her 10 day visit definitely warrants a posting.

I was so freakin excited to see Wawa! I haven’t seen her since I think my birthday last year (I think), but of course we have kept up to speed on all the juicy gossip that’s gone on in our lives in between. But, I was especially excited for 10 days of good old fashion girl talk, rehashing past relationships, current whatevers, what went wrong and adding further insight to the past, that we’ve since gained in our old age. Oh, and play tour guide of this country that is now my home away from home. I was a little nervous to play tour guide because the pressure’s on, but it was probably the closest to relaxing yet jam-packed trip possible. Twas awesome.

Wawa and about 10 pounds of candy came to school with me 2 days of the week, so she helped teach and squeeze the cheeks of my 3rd and 4th graders with me and Jin. My classroom is also on the 6th grade floor, and since she didn’t come to class on days I taught them or 5th graders, they could only get candy if they asked Wanda a question. Most of them asked the same shit, “What’s your name?” “How old are you?” “Where are you from?” and just dug their dirty hands into the bag of candy, but then they had to actually ask her good questions. Especially the smart ones. I made them. Some were actually good “Who’s your favorite Hollywood star?” and of course “Do you have a boyfriend? No? Why not?” Our favorite question EVER. Both days that she was here this is what it looked like just outside my classroom. I had to play zookeeper to a bunch of candy crack babies a couple times. That was fun.

Wawa is also no longer “solo.” I knew she’d come to Korea and find a boyfriend ASAP. This is her and her new boyfriend Julian. They even dress like a kouple.

Our absolute most favorite day of her trip was our “Day of Culture.” That day we went shopping in Insadong where we got down to tradition and cried of laughter as we posed in Hanbok. We went to Gyeongbokgung Palace and got a taste of celebrity when some middle schoolers asked to have their picture taken with us, saw the King Sajong statue, ate some bomb tofu and pajeon (Korean seafood “pizza”), drank tea at a lovely little tea house, and went shopping for a fish and live octopus to eat at the Noryangjin fish market. I ate live octopus for my 2nd time. Jesus.

Here’s a video of us eating that octopus.

We also had some very ladylike evenings. We caught a jazz show at my favorite location in Seoul, Jazz Story, in Hyehwa, and had a night of vagina at Vato’s Tacos followed by some vagina pops at a Vagina Monologues show.

We went to Gangnam and did what you do in Gangnam. Take glamour shots and hang out with very sophisticated men.

We also hiked, or rather walked 50 million flights of stairs, up to Namsan Tower to lock up our love (next to mine and sista’s) to forever overlook the smoggy sky of Seoul, and found our first epic Geocache.

All in all, it was soooo much fun having my lil Wa here! I’m so happy she came and it’s always nice to have visitors because it gives me a chance to feel like a tourist once again 🙂 Here are a couple other highlights of her trip.

Our new Vietnamese family.

Eating fried potatoes with some new male suitors.

Eating a hot dog wrapped in a pancake.

Swapping manicure secrets.

Shopping with ajummas, her new favorite breed of people.

Schaeff Schaeff loves you WaWa! Now come back soon! Mwah!

I’m certified!

June 23, 2011June 1, 20132 Comments

8 days after taking the test from hell (well, grammar hell at least) I can finally put my nerves to rest and update my resume with “TEFL certified”!!!! YAY! I am so happy, and I can now officially be placed in Seoul if all goes the way I hope! Keep crossing fingers!

For those who are like “huh? what is TEFL?” it’s a certification that says I am qualified to Teach English as a Foreign Language. In order to teach in Seoul, and virtually anywhere else around the globe, you need to be certified at least 100 hours, which is what I got. I just completed the course online through ITTT at my own pace and then took a final exam. Once you pass, it’s recognized worldwide. That means that after completing a year in S. Korea I can go anywhere else I’d like! S. Korea is interesting though in the fact that you only need to be TEFL certified to teach in Seoul since it’s the capital and so competitive. You can secure a job anywhere else in the country without being TEFL certified, you just won’t get that pay bump. So, instead of making 2.0 million Won per month, I will now be making 2.1 million Won, which is the equivalent of $1,948.52 USD a month as of right now on xe.com.

Now I just wait to get my certificate in the mail, which they say will take about 2-3 weeks since it’s mailed from Thailand…wawaweewa! I’ll post a picture of my certificate to show off once I get it 🙂

I’m soooo happy, now I can officially go to Vegas this weekend and LET LOOSE!!!