Lucky Number 3?

April 29, 2013June 1, 2013Leave a comment

Remember this post? Well, scratch that.

Here’s a sentence I never envisioned myself uttering during those tear-fest drives to LAX on August 16, 2011 and January 25, 2013: “Year 3 in Korea is happening.”

Yep. I have renewed for one more year, and the 3 letters W-T-F are still swimming thru my brain.

I knew by going home in January I’d ramp up my anxiety a bit about the future. I live a rather anxiety-free life, especially in Korea, except when money or big changes are happening, which I think is fairly normal. However, when it kicks in, it kicks into full blown I’m-not-slowing-down-to-even-let-you-sleep mode. The past 1.5 years in Korea have been completely void of this feeling, which is the most wonderful thing ever. That is, until recently. Dun dun dun.

Up until 2, maybe 2.5 weeks ago, I was completely 110% set on the fact that I would be leaving Korea by September 2013 at the very latest. I had started thinking I’d go to another country in Asia (maybe Hong Kong, Taiwan or China) for a new experience after traveling India and going home for a bit. Then shit started getting more real. There’s only 4 months of our current contract left, and I realized I’m almost 30 and need to have a more stable plan in order for that return home, and then the jumping off point after to go off without a hitch. I know myself, and if I were to go home with just the money I’d leave Korea with (which would be a pretty penny after 2 years!) I’d sit and stew at home about my next move, blow that cash in the process, and my anxiety would be left even worse.

So, in the long run, a year is only a year, and for my own sanity it’ll be easier for me to get my ducks in a row this year abroad than it would be to do the same thing at home in the crazy Schaeff abode. Not to mention, I’ll basically be doubling the money that I’m going to be leaving Korea with. I never thought I’d be here for 3 years, and I thought I’d have my shit together, but turns out that even though this year has been awesome, I feel like I didn’t do anything remotely proactive to make that happen. So big girl pants must be worn this year. And I plan to write a lot in the process.

I know my mom is not happy about it, per our 10 minute phone call resulting in a swift click of End Call, and Sista wants me home for her and the pups. But, after talking to some pretty unbiased close friends who have their heads tightly screwed on straight, my dad, and lots of introspective Seoul searching, accompanied by a very trusty dusty Pros/Cons list, I feel that I’ve made the adult, mature, responsible decision. Even though my heart is running rampant and can’t flutter straight, my head is the only thing that feels remotely clear, so I’m ultimately happy with my decision, albeit the massive pit in my stomach. Plus, that means more travel adventures para mi, and there ain’t NOTHIN wrong with that! 🙂

Oh, and I will also be looking into finding a new apartamento in a more central locale, because home girl can’t hang in the boonies of North Korea (not really) for one more year. And word on the street is that a good handful of my loves will still be around, so that is easing me just a skotch.

So folks, you’ve got 16 more months to find a way to make me even more popular than I already have been in the visitor department. August 2014 will be my OFFICIAL OFFICIAL departure date from South Korea. You’ve got my word 🙂

And one last OH! I’m going to look into flights home for August. I know, twice in one year…CRAY! But, this is in order to make Mama Schaeff and Sista a little happier, and to ease my probably forthcoming anxiety if I were to come home in January. I may try to come to NYC as well, so I will keep all you fine lovelies abreast 🙂

ByeBye, HeyHey ~ Off You Go To “A Whole New World”

April 18, 2013June 1, 20132 Comments

I can’t believe I am even writing this post. It actually pisses me off that I’m making myself do this. However, I’ve come to use this blog space of mine to pay a little love to the people near and far who I want to give a big virtual hug to no matter where we both reside in the world at any present moment at any present time on any day of dire significance.

This one is dedicated to my beautiful Stephanie Anne Heyduck, who has become one of the nearest and dearest to my heart during this last year and a half in Korea. It makes me really sad that her time here has expired, but that’s what comes with the expat territory. Those who we become so close with weave in and out of our lives and that’s that. I guess it’s what we indirectly signed up for in choosing a lifestyle fueled by wanderlust; bonding together with others who also thrive on that same passion to wander and move about this glorious globe to explore and conquer.

As we’ve cuddled, danced and traveled our way through an ever-growing friendship, it’s always been apparent to me that Steph is totally one of those people who is unbelievably wise beyond her 25 years. Whether it be in matters of the heart or the world, she always manages to have the wild child in check with the mature adult who’s got their head screwed on straight. She’s also one of those people that just knows something about everything, no matter the topic. I only know a few of those kinds of people and she’s one of them. It always kind of amazes me and I’m just like WHA?! Where you come from?! She’s a special one, and I love her dearly.

Now for a little journey thru some of my fave highlights of the past year and a half frolicking thru the far East together 🙂

The first time I met Steph was when Jeanette and Carmen were visiting. It was maybe my 3rd week living in Seoul, and Jeanette and Steph realized they had practically matching tattoos. Friends.Seoulmates.WHAT.

Here’s the first time Steph, Katie, Abby and I officially became a foursome after each others hearts. We hiked to the top of Namsan Tower and then struggled to take this photo in the geographical center of Seoul! Many of my “I’m so happy I’m in Korea moments” have been spent with these ladies, and they’ll all always hold one of the most special places in my little Korean heart.

She introduced me to one of my favorite Korean foods, Shabu Shabu, in the Ying Yang pot, one freezing cold night after shopping our butts off in Myeong-dong. Nom.

We’ve had some shenanigans, and this was one random night out on the town while everyone else got down on a bus filled with soju. Hey, we all make mistakes. She dragged me, she loves me despite it 😉

We got money hungry at the Trick Eye Museum. AKA the most fun museum EVER!

Then we got ballsy and decided to eat some live octopus together for the first time. Actually not so bad and kinda fun.

Somewhere around this time we decided we’d bare it all and get naked with each other at the jjimjilbang. We did, and it was weird for like 2 minutes, and then it was awesome, and then we went again, and we became obsessed even though we didn’t do it as often as we thought we would. But still. It brought us as close as 2 naked platonic girlfriends can get. Both in and outside of our sexy jjimjilbang attire.

Her family came to visit, got us smashed to pieces during her mom’s first date with soju, and then Papa Heyduck did a sorority pose in this photo with us all.

There were a couple girls nights in. This may have been what they started out looking like.

And then the aftermath to the tune of some Disney movies and Twilight and makkoli and soju.

Then we took on a bit of traveling together. First came that unforgettable typhoon of a trip to Japan where we rode bikes around Kyoto…

Got our plans “horribly” rearranged by an unexpected typhoon…

And then relocated ourselves to the nearest karaoke room where Steph gave us this private show (before I inevitably hogged the mic). Adele or Celine perhaps? The sake won’t allow me to remember. Whatever the song, her voice sang it magically. From this moment on we became noraebang obsessed.

Shortly after, we went to go Barack the vote together. We were VERY excited to make our voices heard.

And after he won the election, the two of us rented out the VIP room at a local noraebang in Itaewon (because it was the only one available), drank ourselves silly on a Wednesday night, and sang our Disney hearts wild for 2 hours because we were so happy for our man Barry. One of my all time fave Steph & Dani moments to date. “I can show you the worldddddddd……”

Of course by far one of my favorite things everrrrr that we’ve done was going to Thailand and Laos together this past February. You don’t really know someone til you either live or travel with them, and we traveled really really well together. We had such an amazing time playing with elephants and tigers, cooking exotic cuisine, crossing the border like a coupla Mexican cholas in the back of one too many pick-up trucks, and meeting lovely French lassies and gorgeous Argentinian men along the way. (I have majorly slacked in posting about that trip, but it will be coming soon, I promise. Eeeep!)

Needless to say, friendship is nothin if you’re not there to help hoist your friend’s fat ass up on top of a hormonal elephant…

Or sit down next to each other in some tiger pee to get those one-in-a-million shots in life!

Tonight after Abby and I had to fight back premature tears while saying bye to Steph at our 2nd to last dinner together, we were talking about when we first signed up to move our lives to Korea. We had envisioned living amongst a new culture, with new foods, new experiences, new travels, a new language to make up the white noise in our background, and we knew we’d make friends abroad. But, we both made the connection that neither of us had really put much thought into the relationships we were going to build and who would soon become our family whilst carrying on our new lives. I guess you don’t really plan or think about those types of things because they’re organic and happen as they will. With the ending of year one a slew of great loves left, but Stephanie is my first great girlfriend who’s been there since the beginning, to leave Korea, and that’s a killer. Great girlfriends are not easy to find, and she is just one of those friends that I am so lucky to have snatched up.

To wrap it all up, I love you Stepaneeeeee, and I’m gonna miss you, like, times 10 million to the max. But, I know we are both wanderers and this is just a BIG “see ya later”. My time spent in Korea would never have been quite the same without you in it, and I hope this next chapter of your life is a lot less (kimchi) smelly, but just as fulfilling as the past 2 years have been. I love you to infinity and beyondddddddd.

<3,

Dani

Healing The World Thru MJ & ESL

April 11, 2013June 1, 2013Leave a comment

There have been a couple times in my life when I quite vividly remember Michael Jackson songs leaving a feeling with me that so permanently stuck. I’ll start with the second story first because it isn’t as applicable to this post as the first is.

This was during my junior year of college during Fiesta weekend. I drank too much of a bucket at Sharkeez, however I wasn’t even drunk, but felt absolutely sick so I was sitting down moping in the corner while everyone was dancing and having a great time. BUT, the second “Billie Jean” came on, a fire was lit under my ass and I lept up and to the dance floor I went for a good 4 minutes of hardcore dancing….ultimately retiring to my nauseafest in the corner once the song concluded. If only for those 4 minutes, thanks to the great MJ, my night was quite complete. Ever since then, I cannot sit down during “Billie Jean.” IT IS MY JAM.

Now on to the first story. When I was in 5th grade, the music teacher would come around to our classroom and teach us songs once a week. This one week we happened to learn “Heal the World.” I instantly FELL IN LOVE with the song and all I remember trying to do that whole period was steal the lyric sheet that the teacher handed out to us. Then when goody-two-shoes-ol-me was too scared to steal it, I began frantically trying to write down all the lyrics. When that got to be too much, I finally ended up stealing the sheet. Phew! I was determined to learn that song! Essentially, I thought the song was so beautiful and fell in love with the power behind the words at such a young age, and it is a memory of a song I will never ever forget.

Well, this past chapter with my 5th graders, Jin and I were teaching about “What a wonderful……” She had taught them the song “What a Wonderful World” and thought it would also be really great to teach them about the differences the world over. The poverty, the obesity, the riches, the diseases, the fighting, the different ethnicities, the different religions and skin colors, all co-exiting together. This is so important, especially since Korea is such a homogenous society and many will never have the chance to leave, or may never choose to leave. It was also really special to me to have the chance to teach it to them with Jin since I had first learned the song when I was their age and it had such a lasting impact on me. After watching the video with Korean translation, one of my students ran up to me asking if she could please have a lyrics sheet. I instantly gave her a hug and it brought me right back to when I was her age scrambling to keep those lyrics for my own. Major heart swell.

The irony in all this is that while teaching these children about healing the world, and while I was making this video, our neighbors up above are all consumed with blowing the world up. Anyways, below is a video of the song project that they did. Hope you enjoy 🙂

And just for fun, because I’ve had a week FILLED will Michael Jackson love, here’s another video of two of my little nerds singing, and completely GETTIN DOWN with their bad selves, to “I’ll Be There” by The Jackson 5.

With the 6th Graders we were learning “I will….” so we learned this song as a dictation exercise. I caught the little guy on the right totally gettin all soulful in his seat all the way in the back, so I jokingly asked him if he wanted to come to the stage up front and perform for the class, and he gladly accepted my invitation! John, on the left, is my favorite, super nerdy, computer programmer boyfriend. I love him more than words can say. Enjoy the comedy. This has definitely been one of my teaching English in Korea highlights 🙂

Nothin like a lil MJ to unite the freakin world.

Running For Ramen……..Sike

April 9, 2013June 1, 2013Leave a comment

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve obviously heard that there’s been a bit of a ruckus going on over here on this tiny little peninsula in the far East for about the past month or so. While I deeply appreciate all of the concern that Mama Schaeff and all my friends have shown during these very trying times as I’ve been running to the corner mart scouring for the last package of ramen and kimchi and whatever bottles of water I can manage to hoist between my arm and bosom up the treacherous hill to my apartment….I AM FINE. WE ARE FINE.

I just thought I’d put this little piece of work together to reach all of you state side who only have the US media as a point of reference to where I am living and carrying on life as normal. I will admit, yes, I have had some nerves about it because who knows what the hell that fat fuck (pardon my French) will do in an effort to flex his barely-there muscles, and with little to know guidance or from what I’m sure, life/war experience. I actually got my first ounce of fright last week at lunch when my co-teacher, Jin, told me that her mom was getting scared. I think, at least for me, that bit of anxiety comes from just the fact that we really don’t know what he will do. I read an article about the past and present young and reckless leaders of North Korea and when they rose to power. I thought it to be a bit interesting, and frightening. It’s like handing a kid a gun and telling him to just blindly shoot in the dark with Kim Jong Un. Who knows what he’s capable of.

HOWEVER, since all this has gone down, I have pretty much scoured the interwebs and read everything and its mother about what in Gods graces is going on, but I am obviously by no means well-educated, just trying to stay as best informed as I can. But, just on the basis that I am living here, and functioning, and carrying on life as I have for the past year and a half, nothing out of the normal has changed. On that note, I’m really not scared in the least. I don’t think that an attack on Seoul in going to happen. An attack will probably happen, but that will probably be to an island. In fact, just this afternoon while on my way down south after school, I snapped this shot of some soldiers riding the subway probably playing Anipang or some new stupid mobile phone game.

Keep in mind, I live pretty much as far north in Seoul as you can get and just about 4 hours ago, North Korea issued this very “legit advisory” notice to all foreigners (because we always listen to what North Korea says….). These soldiers must be taking our well-being and their fellow brothers’ very seriously. The very thought of every foreigner and every Korean storming Incheon or the KTX down to Busan to peace out to Japan makes me want to poke my eyeballs out. As if I don’t get shoved enough on my daily morning commute. Eeeep!!!

Until the US Embassy sends out something of more urgency than the following, I’ll continue on my merry little way.

April04, 2013

A Security Message for U.S. Citizens

The U.S. Embassy informs U.S. citizens that despite current political tensions with North Korea there is no specific information to suggest there are imminent threats to U.S. citizens or facilities in the Republic of Korea (ROK). The Embassy has not changed its security posture and we have not recommended that U.S. citizens who reside in, or plan to visit, the Republic of Korea take special security precautions at this time. The U.S. Embassy takes as its highest priority the welfare of American citizens in Korea. Should the security situation change, the Embassy will issue updated information.

We urge U.S. citizens to keep in regular contact with family and friends. U.S. citizens living or traveling abroad are encouraged to enroll in the Department of State’s Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP), to receive the latest travel updates and information and to obtain updated information on travel and security issues.

**Rest assured I am registered with the Embassy and they have all my contact information should I need to be evacuated.

Well, aside from calming your jets on the rising tensions that you’re all reading in the news, I thought I’d include some screenshots that I got a great giggle and smile in my heart from. I know you guys only care, but seriously, take a chill pill. But, and that’s a BIG but, know that I appreciate your love and concern for the schaeff schaeff ❤

Well, for mine and my fellow peninsular comrade’s safety, I hope the big guy upstairs is just talking a big talk and we don’t get a special surprise tomorrow on April 10th. I would like to stay safe, not have to actually panic, buy ramen, flee to Japan for anything other than leisure, and I’d like the above Mama and lady loves who voiced their concerns to actually book the flights that they’ve been planning to.

Sending lots of kimchi kisses to everyone :*

My Quest To Rock The Eye Chart

March 23, 2013June 1, 20131 Comment

I still remember the first pair of spectacles I ever owned. I was in 2nd grade and they were a very stylish plastic girly frame fading from magenta to purple to a deep blue. It was pretty much love at first “ok, if I really have to wear them.” We bought them in the shopping center in Agoura where Subway and TJ Maxx are. I swear I have the most freakishly weird memory for odd detail. I had those for a second, then I graduated to these brown and black speckled gems, which I believe I really should have kept because I could have rocked them all these years later, but of course looked (and posed) a whole lot cooler.

Then in 4th grade Mama Schaeff forced me to go to Eye Therapy so that I could start wearing hard contact lenses and stop imitating my dad putting his own contacts in with my own piece of very thin ice…(there goes my memory again). I HATED Eye Therapy, but I think in some odd way it made me develop a bizarre love for going to the eye doctor. So, then in 4th grade I was forced each morning to pop my hard contacts into my eyeballs even though they felt really weird, and then pop them out of my eyeballs with this tiny plunger because I was too young to figure out how to do it with my own two fingers. This is what I looked like every night, minus the fancy nail polish, and i bit my nails back then:

Then I grew up a little and decided I wanted my eyes to be different colors, and those colors only came in soft contacts. So I had blue eyes and really green eyes, and then my eyes got fucked, for lack of a better word. Those contacts were really bad, especially when worn for too long. They’re not specifically shaped to your eye and then the printing that goes onto the lenses is also not very good. In mid 2006 my eyes started getting really red all the time, probably because I would get drunk and pass out in my contacts, but then it would just never go away, and then it got worse. It was to the point where I could barely see when I would drive and even looking at the computer would hurt my eyes and they’d water uncontrollably. Most of you know the long story, but after countless optometrists, ophthalmologists, eyedrops and months, I had Keratitis, or a really bad bacterial infection, thus resulting in the spectacles that are now part of my essence.

It actually took me a while to get used to having to wear them all. the. time. I hated having something covering my face, it felt ugly and like people couldn’t see ME. Then it just flipped and they became a part of me, and before long I felt weird without them. Now I’m pretty much at the point where I feel normal with or without them, but very much “Danielle” with my spectacles.

HOWEVER…….

Now that I’m in Korea I have decided to get laser eye surgery, something I have always had in the back of my head because, well, why not? But, I’ve always envisioned it as something out of reach because in the States it’s so expensive, the charge is per eye, and my eyes have been through the ringer and back. Korea, on the contrary, offers the surgery for a flat rate and for even less than half the cost I’d pay back home. At home I would probably be looking at paying anywhere between $5,000-$7,000 total for both eyes with my vision, astigmatism and myopia, whereas in Korea I’m going to be looking at around $1,300. Many of you are probably thinking “UMM Danielle, is it safe????? Don’t DO THAT.” But it is. Korea is LEGIT. It is a 1st world country, and is actually a major surgery destination in the world. Many people come here specifically to have any number of surgeries done because it is so highly regarded and so frequently practiced with top notch doctors and results. So not to worry. I have also been on three different consultations to weigh all my options.

Now for a brief overview of the three consultations I went on for anyone else who reads this on their quest to reading eye charts perfectly.

**All consults took about 2 hours and go through an assembly line of different machines to check everything about your eyes.

CONSULTATION 1: DREAM EYE CENTER (www.hellolasik.com/eng_site/)

Dream caters to foreigners, so it was the first place that I went to. My friend Casey went there last year for a consultation but never actually got the surgery because he was scared after being told his myopia (steepness of cornea) was too high. Turns out mine is even higher! The optometrist who helped me was wonderful, super sweet, spoke perfect English and explained everything she was doing the entire time. It was very informative, so when I met with the doctor I felt like I had a good idea of what to expect. I also really liked the doctor. He told me that since my cornea is very thin, my astigmatism is super high, my myopia is very steep (not the steepest he’s seen, but still pretty steep), and my eyes are extremely dry, I’d have to have LASEK instead of LASIK done, which has a more painful and longer recovery time, but with less chance of complication. He was also very honest and said that about 10% of people with my eye condition do sometimes regress in their vision after surgery, so there is a chance that my vision won’t stick to 20/20 afterwards. It wouldn’t go back to my current vision, just wouldn’t be 20/20. Also, given the thinness of my cornea, he said I would only be able to have the surgery once, without any chance of a touch-up surgery if I were to regress. After surgery, they would also make an eye serum from my blood that would help with the pain. They also take a DNA swap prior to surgery to test for a gene that would make the surgery ineffective.

In the end, they quoted me at 1.8million won, and that’s down from 2.2million won for having a referral and if I write a testimonial. I told them that I was going to sit on it and think because I wanted to weigh my options given the percentage for regression after surgery. So I left with a pamphlet with all my eye info to look over in a neat packet.

CONSULTATION 2: BRIGHT EYES ST. MARY’S (http://www.oklasik.com)

I read about this place on a few blogs so I made an appointment, but I’m not going to say much about this place because I couldn’t stand them. I felt extremely rushed, and about the only redeeming quality about them was the girl Chloe who was the English translator, and the prescription they wrote me for the artificial tears and special ointment I’d need to take for the scars that are on my cornea. I knew I had to do this already so I took the prescription in preparation for my third consultation so I had a head start. The optometrist got all huffy with me when I couldn’t accurately read the eye charts, and she was extremely short with me. I basically got shoved into the doctor’s chair without even a hello, and then quickly ushered out without a goodbye. I attributed it to the language barrier, but I think most doctors have a basic knowledge of English, especially one working in such an affluent area as Gangnam, so a hello and goodbye would have been nice. Then it was a back and forth between nurses who could mime things to me until Chloe came because they realized I actually had questions pertaining to a surgery. Duh.

I ended up leaving with a prescription for the artificial tears, ointment and a follow-up appointment that I intended on cancelling. They didn’t give me any neat pamphlet with my eye results like Dream did, and I didn’t know who my doctor would be. They ended up quoting me at 1.5million won.

CONSULTATION 3: GANGNAM ST. MARY’S (http://www.perfectvision.co.kr)

This was by far my favorite of the three, and I don’t think it was because it was the final one I went to. I was referred by my friends Jeremy and 4names who both had their eyes done a while back with sparkling results. I made the appointment with the English speaking girl who works there named Yunmi, and she was SO accommodating and helpful. The first time I had actually called and they only spoke Korean so they had her call me back even though she wasn’t working, so when she called I was super confused how she had my number, but then it clicked. Anyways, I went in today, and right when I walked in she greeted me through the bustling waiting room and helped me fill out the medical form. I then had an English speaking optometrist who did the most thorough eye exam of all three that I had been on. I had told them about my previous Keratitis and they had the doctor check my eyes before they took the special measurement of my pupil to make sure I was bacteria free before moving forward. None of the others did that even though I had told them my history. After all the tests were over I met with the doctor again and also told him about the prescription I had begun taking. He advised me to keep taking it, and take the ointment 2x a day instead of once because if the scars on my corneas don’t go away then I can’t have the surgery. He also told me that I have about a 5% chance of regression if I have the surgery, and there is a possibility for a second surgery if regression does happen. He broke down the numbers right in front of me too which was very reassuring. Told me the thickness of my cornea, how much they take away, what it will be after, and so on. So I made a follow-up appointment for Thursday to check my scars and hope for a big fat YES YOU CAN HAVE SURGERY.

They ended up quoting me at 1.7million won if I have the surgery in April or 1.5million won if I have it done in March, but I’m hoping they give me the 1.5 deal even if I have it in April because I came with the referrals and both friends got it done at 1.5 or 1.4. They also offer a payment plan broken up into 3 months which will help out tremendously.

In sum, it’s not a 100% go YET, but I’m going to be extremely anal in dropping those artificial tears and applying the ointment because I would love to be able to see the world for the first time through crystal clear perfect eyeballs. I can’t even remember a time when I could see clearly, so eye surgery is still impossible for me to even fathom, but it’s getting there.

Cross your fingers, toes and eyes for me pretty please with a big fat cherry on top with sprinkles! More to obviously come on this at a later date!

Six Months Shmix Months

March 19, 2013June 1, 20133 Comments

With my 2nd contract winding down, I have just under 6 months left of my time living in my home away from home in this lovely little nook under that big nuke up north. Just as a heads up, all is fine and dandy over here, life carries on like normal and I guarantee that the American media blows up everything far bigger than it even feels while living about 1.5 hours south of that big scary border.

I’ve been doing a bit of pondering lately about the things I’m going to miss about Korea and here are some things I threw together quickly over the last couple days. Maybe this will persuade some of you to get your tuchous’ over here just under the wire 😉

Kimchi. I went like three days without it at school, I don’t even remember why because there is never a shortage of kimchi, but I was really depressed without it in my life for those three days. Hard to believe I was scared to try it for the whole first week I was here.
Instant built in friends. Coming with EPIK/SMOE made building a network and getting oriented like it ain’t no thang. We had the chance to meet a crapton of people at a week-long orientation, and from there got to weed through the masses weekend after weekend at Hongdae Park and Zen 1 until we managed to find the ones who clicked with our own brand of weird. From that crop some pretty spectacular people sprang 🙂
What’s anxiety? Yea, until about oh, the past week, I haven’t felt that for the past year and a half. Now I need to think about life after Korea and the happysadanxious feelings are once again having their reign.
THE KIDS. Oh the kidssss. I don’t think I have seen cuter kids on the face of this here planet than Korean kids. I shit you not they are the most adorable babies ever. Until they are in about 6th grade. Then they suck.
Playing the dumb foreigner card always has its perks. Lots of get out of free cards, not having to listen in meetings (even though I still don’t know why I have to attend them), and also having no one to report to or check in on me….ever.
Going to the doctor is mere pennies. Back at home I never went to the doctor until I was practically dead and my mom was twisting my arm to go, because I couldn’t afford it and had no health insurance. Here, it costs ~$3 to see the doctor and then ~$4-7 for meds. Ka-ching! Slight cough and I’m all about Dr. Kim or Lee or Kwon or Oh.
Seoul has the best subway system, hands down. The buses aren’t bad either, except for the kimchi fart rubber smell on occasion. But that’s everywhere.
Incheon Airport. Praise all things holy and glorious. I love this airport so much I could marry it.
Kimbap triangles, namely the tuna kimchi ones. Best snack on the go. It’s basically a triangle of rice with kimchi and tuna in the center and wrapped in seaweed and you have to unwrap the fancy wrapping correctly or you mess the seaweed up.
Everything is convenient. Ripped your tights? Need some flats? Forgot your eyeliner? Oh, right this way. You hungry? Everything is always at your fingertips. Even a double eyelid (surgery OR tape).
“Marting” the art of sitting on the sidewalk in front of 7-11 or GS25 on plastic lawn furniture and drinking makkoli, soju or mekju (beer) while enjoying some fine people watching and conversation.
Which brings me to my next point. Makkoli. Sweet sweet makkoli. My beverage of choice in Korea. This delicious milky fizzy rice wine is found in the marts in a green or white bottle, or served in makkoli bars out of a kettle or bowl with ladel, with bowls for drinking. My personal fave is to add strawberry or melon ice cream to it. Nom.
Noraebang. I regret to admit that it took me a year to discover my favorite Korean hobby, and I had to go to Japan to figure it out. Norae (sing), bang (room)….essentially a singing room where you go with any number of friends and just sing to your wildest heart’s content. Disney is my personal fave.
Multibang. Basically consists of noraebang, PC bang, DVD bang and Wii. I went here on a couple dates and they were the best dates I have ever been on. SO MUCH FUN. Many Korean couples also go to these for some privacy, ifyaknowhatimsayin.
That awkward feeling of being stared at, even by the baby who is barely two, yet also feeling like a celebrity at the same time because you obviously look different and even the baby can tell something is off about you. But it’s cool.
Rice. Though I can surely live without it, I will miss it. Damn you bap!
Hearing “nice to meet you” everyday for two years straight by the same kid. Groundhog day all day, e’er day.
SO much nail polish!
OH THE SHOPPING! It’s freakin everywhere!
The cafe culture. There are just so many adorable cafes all over Seoul.
Reading Hangul (the Korean alphabet). It’s like a puzzle to me. I feel like my brain is always working since I’m always reading everything around me trying to see if I can understand it. Definitely gonna miss this big time.
ONDOL. Sweet beautiful heated floors how I will miss lying on you so.
Daiso. It’s this amazing dollar store where everything is essentially between 1,000~5,000won. I always want to buy everything.
Deli Manjoo, which are these custard filled little cake bites, which I actually recently found out are actually not even bad for you because apparently they are made from something called “wellbeing flour” whatever the heck that is. But apparently it’s not bad for you. THEY ARE SO YUMMY. Someone correct me if I had selective hearing on that one….
Everything is too cute. I had to succumb to the Hello Kitty bling bling iPhone case, duh.
The fastest internet on the planet, even if I have to be hooked up to an ethernet chord in my apartment. Oh, and wifi is literally everywhere. Even on the subway. You are never without connection in Korea.
Korean food is so bomb. Especially the soups. Especially Mul Naengmyeon in summer (buckwheat noodles in an icy beef broth with julienned pears and cucumbers and a hard boiled egg, served with lots of dijon mustard and vinegar to taste).
My personal fave….the what I like to call “just click print” shirts.
Anytime I say “hi” or “thank you” in Korean to a Korean they are always impressed and think my Korean is amazing, as if I came to Korea yesterday.
Over abundance of cute socks, and Obama socks.
The Korean cartoon song from the 90s that plays every morning on the school speakers. I love it and have no clue what it’s about! Jin actually told me it is the theme song from her favorite cartoon when she was little!
I will be getting my eyes lasered for less than triple the cost I would pay to get it done in the states. YAY SURGERY CAPITAL OF THE WORLD! More to come about THIS process in a later post….something which has been added to my anxiety!

I’m sure there are plenty more that I am surely forgetting, but for now these are some of the things that I am going to miss tremendously about Korea. The next six months are going to fly by and I’m already starting to get anxious about it, and not in a good way. Never in a million years did I think i would fall in love with the weirdest country on the planet and call it my second home. I’m sure I’ll add to this as time winds down, so keep your eyes peeled. Oh, and a post of Thailand and Laos to come soon, sorry I’ve just been supa busy as a bee!!

ANYEONG!

A Pupu Platter Of 2012 Whathaveyous

January 2, 2013June 1, 20133 Comments

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

Wow, another year has come and gone, and I must say, 2012 was my favorite year of my almost-29 years gracing this planet. So much that I had always dreamt of in years past same to fruition this year, and I can honestly say I am in the best place I have ever been in my life. And it feels damn good 😉

I had made the resolution in 2011 that by the end of the year I would be living a life abroad ~ check. In 2012 I promised myself I would do absolutely as much traveling of Asia as possible. I came to Korea to conquer this continent like a blaze of fire, and in looking back I can say I did just that. Along with the travel resolutions, I really put my best foot forward to work on getting what I really want, and making that start from within. I try my best to communicate what I want, but a lot of time it fails when walls get put up, or life just gets in the way. So, I’ve really tried to be as self-aware as possible just be the best version of myself and hope that it brings with it what I truly want. That being said, 2012 has definitely been the happiest and most honest year to date 🙂

Now I’m just gonna throw together a few highlights from each month of 2012. Badabing herrrrrr goes!

I began the year on the beach in Koh Phangan, covered in florescent body paint and drinking liquor by the buckets with one of my dearest and oldest friends on the planet ~ my fave biatch and sista from anotha mista, Miz Diamond ❤

January marked my first birthday to be celebrated away from everyone I’ve always shared my (obviously) favorite holiday with. I felt a little down about it, then in flew a gift from THE BEST sista ever ~ Sista Schaeff in the flesh, in Korea!

On her last night here, she snuggled my foot to sleep. BY CHOICE! ❤

In February I visited two of my favorite countries so far ~ Vietnam and Cambodia. I saw some of the most beautiful snorkeling waters, caught my first fish, shot my first gun, ate a bowl of pho a day, wondered why they allow Americans in, and saw my life flash before me about 1million times while in ‘Nam.

In Cambodia I visited the most breathtaking temples I have ever seen, spent an afternoon with beautiful children in an orphanage on the river, saw insurmountable beauties in some of the deepest poverty stricken eyes, and struggled to hold back tears while walking through a living history at the Killing Fields and S-21 genocide museum remnants from the Khmer Rouge of the 70s~80s.

In March I visited the happiest place on earth, AKA the DMZ, for the second time. This time we rode bikes along the most intensely guarded border in the world, all while Obama paid the peninsula a visit and peered over to the North with us.

April means Passover, which also means the sea parts in Korea. I made the trek down south with a homie and we met Moses, crossed the parted sea and drank makkoli while doing so, obvi.

Later in April, my favorite story to date came to be. A couple morons went to a Lady GaGa concert. They got all gussied up in the hottest of pink and the tightest of attire, only to miss the whole thing whilst trying to attain the most coveted seats in the house during the “GaGa cover band”…. *face palm* At least we looked sexy.

In May, Wawa came for a visit. We did many things, but by far our favorite day was our “Day of Culture.” We visited Gyeongbukgong Palace, learned about the creation of Hangul (the Korean alphabet), ate a traditional lunch, drank tea in a lovely tea house, dressed up and cracked up in Hanbok (traditional Korean dress), and wrapped up with a journey to the Noryangjin Fish Market. Twas a wondrous day!

Then came June, and Buddha’s birthday. A crew of us high-tailed out of Seoul to Gangneung, a little beach town on the East Sea. There were makkoli and soju spurred chicken fights, sexy man-wrestles, toasty bonfires, crashing of high class fancy Korean booking clubs and frisbee games resulting in broken pinky toes and racial slurs. The Buddhaman had an awesome birthday!!

Then came July and two events which could be classified as the greatest events of the century. One more than the other, but one got more hype than the other according to the Facebook. You can use your own judgement on that one. One required us to dress to the nines to bid adieu to all the homies we grew to call family, and also the ones we grew apart from because a lot of people that came with us were weirdos, let’s face it. The other required some prior temple-sculpting, lots and lots and lots of soju, mudmudmud and practically no clothes. Mud Fest was by far my favorite event of 2012. Shit was CRAY TO THE MAX!

August was the most bittersweet month of the year I’d say. It was sweet because I took a 2.5 week summer jaunt on over to the Philippines with my lovely lass from home, Brianne. We saw some of the most picturesque islands, snorkeled and ate our faces off, hiked miles in our little warrior Havaianas, posed with stalagtites, missed the whale sharks, got in a fist fight with a very mean typhoon, and let tempers fly with shitty budget airlines.

August was bitter because our contracts ended and some left KoKo and I had to face the harsh reality that the world as I knew it was shattering before me. Well, that’s an over-dramatization, but that’s how it felt at the time dammit. I also got thrown into my deathbed by some plague I contracted in the Philippines. So, not only were my friends leaving, but I was deathly ill and partying with an IV in the hospital, unable to hand out proper goodbye hugs. NOT COOL WORLD.

Then on rolled September. Grabbing my bearings on who was still left in my Seoul-cial circle happened naturally. I got back in the go-out mode (at least for the time being), and some friendships from the previous year had the chance to blossom. Late in the month for Chuseok holiday, a group of us gals decided to pop off to Osaka and Kyoto, Japan with boy toy Joshy. We frolicked by bicycle all over Kyoto, made the most of the typhoon stricken city by stuffing our faces with enough sushi and sake to fuel an army, and tore up (literally) a karaoke room. Best weekend ever!!!

October was of course Halloween, and we got down with our bad selves…and Bob the Builder.

In November I actually had a REAL Thanksgiving, none of that Pho shit (pardon me, it’s just not suitable cuisine for Thanksgiving). Josh Rich was also in town as my 6th visitor to the Orient. A Happy Happy Turkey Day it was!

And last but not least, I think the winner for best December event goes to my dance crew’s (WORD TO YO MAMA’S HIGH WAISTED JEANS) epic ass kicking in the 90s dance battle for the African kids. Real winners put in the effort, and effort we put in. Obviously you would know this had you been at our latke-rehearsal party, our cheese and crackers rehearsal party where Matty ripped his jeans, and our final rehearsal party that almost interfered with us attending the actual party because we were too focused on perfecting our dance. What a BOMB DIGGITY way send out 2012!!!

As you can see, 2012 was quite the year, and it’s been a pleasure looking back on it with you. Here’s to an even better 2013, and going home to America in 10 days!!!!!!!

PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE, HOMIEZ.

I Came, I Fell, I Conquered

December 27, 2012June 1, 20134 Comments

I know I’ve been a complete slack of a human being on the blog front as of late. I keep telling myself to post about the recent happs, but then life gets the best of me. In my defense, I’ve been a bit preoccupied with all the visitors I’ve had here in the KoKo. I’ve been top of the pops lately if you hadn’t heard. In the past 2 months I’ve had 3 visitors to Korea: Jeff Davidson, one of my ATO homies from the good ‘ol SBeezy days, Josh “Gay” Rich, my old Santa Barbara neighbor and favorite non-homosexual gay person, and lastly, my long-awaited, MUCH anticipated visitor, Adam Allegro, photographer extraordinaire (http://catchthejiffy.com). It’s been awesome, and that brings my visitor count to 7 in the last 16 months. Who’s next?!?!

To catch you up, because I’m sure Facebook doesn’t do that for you, I’ll show you some highlights from the past 3 months. It’s a bit of a time traveling experience, so buckle up and enjoy the ride.

The first highlight after Japan was Halloween. Halloween is my favorite holiday, and last year it was a sour disappointment, despite my amazing costume. However, the company I shared it with this year more than made up for last year. I got creative while exploring the world wide web and decided to go as a Roy Lichtenstein 1960s pop art lady (in case the uncultured folk out there are confused and just think I had really bad acne for the evening).

I kicked it with some saucy Japanese schoolgirls.

Had my “damsel in distress” moment when I got rescued by Spiderman in a seedy alleyway in HBC.

Then I went on to get down with Andre Agassi’s zombie circa 1990.

A couple weeks later me and a bunch of Koreans decided to hit up a 1960s/Andy Warhol shindig. Here’s me and Jee shmoozing with Mr. Warhol about being in one of his next films.

Then we just got sexy with some spectacular wall art.

Then I had an unexpected 5th visitor when Jeff popped over from Singapore for a few days on business. Here’s us drinking somak (soju and beer combo) at Noryangjin fish market, over a plate of freshly killed sashimi and octopus.

Shortly thereafter, I time traveled to a roller derby set in the 1980s. My closet and I love the 80s, and this was the perfect opportunity for me to cut up my newly purchased California Raisins sweatshirt into true Flash Dance style. It also provided the perfect setting for me to showcase my wild agility and ability to stand on two feet. My hands hurt for a good 3 weeks after this tumble.

A couple weeks later Josh “Gay” Rich came for a week-long jaunt to the peninsula to learn what Gangnam Style is all about. I’m not sure if he discovered it or not? He was my 3rd school visitor, and my kids thought he was very handsome and very TALL. The girls were oogling at him and the boys were jumping to try and reach his head. It was adorable.

Then he met my 6th grade boyfriend, Jinho. My little angel boy talked baseball with him and was so excited to meet him. I was like a proud mama.

During Josh’s visit I also celebrated my 2nd Thanksgiving abroad. Holidays are so weird in Korea. They literally sneak up on you. I swear I didn’t realize it was Thanksgiving til like 3 days before and we had to scramble for where we were doing our potluck because I was not settling for another bowl of Pho on Thanksgiving like last year. Anyways, this is my beautiful Seoul fam plus Josh. Every family has that one “special” member right? Can you spot ours?

This pretty much catches me up to present-day and my most current visitor. Adam and I have been wanting to be on the same continent for a few years now, and the time finally came! He just got out of the Navy stationed in Italy and has begun his year of jet-setting across Asia to pursue his photography dream. We started bonding over his beautiful photos a few years ago, so I’m thrilled to have him in my home-away-from-home to capture some stunning photographs of this peninsula that now holds a special place in my heart, despite all it’s oddities. He’s been here since December 10th, and is here until January 4th popping all over Korea.

Aside from taking brilliant photos, I brought him to school with me as my show and tell special gift to my shithead 6th graders. I felt they needed a little inspiration, and to many he was. They were all impressed with his gigantic stature (6’4″), his ginger hair, a term I taught to my 3rd graders, and how his feet hung out over the back of his slippers.

Here he is with my best class of 6th graders. They were amazing and had so much fun with him!

He also handed out piggyback rides to my favorite 3rd grade babies.

And met my 6th grade boyfriend again 🙂 Isn’t he just the cutest?

He even arm wrestled my man co-teacher after my students dragged Mr. Jang over to the table. Peep the video below to watch Adam kick his ass.

This week I also celebrated my 2nd Christmas abroad, but first in Seoul. I was actually feeling crappy all day, but was coaxed into going to my friend Keira’s for a potluck/housewarming party. It ended up being really nice and quaint and I’m glad I went, because the holidays are already really depressing living over here that they shouldn’t be made any more by staying in bed by myself on Christmas day. So, here’s another semi-family photo with some new Koreans that I met. Once again, can you spot our “special” member?

Last but certainly not least was the EPIC event that I partook in last weekend. My friend Jeremy runs a non-profit organization (http://gosena.org/) where he raises money to pay for high school costs for a select group of students in the Namibian school that he used to work at during the Peace Corps. So a couple times a year he throws fundraisers where we spend an over-abundance on alcohol and have an amazing time and it goes to support little African kids. Well, this holiday fundraiser was an In Living Color themed t-shirt tag party fully loaded with 90s dance battles. However, the 3 other “crews,” if they can even call themselves that, didn’t even stand a chance against my craftily put together crew. All hail to the 1st place champions: WORD TO YO MAMA’S HIGH WAISTED JEANS (or WTYMHWJ for short). We featured a medley of jams sampling all the great hits from every NOW music CD you ever owned. We won the whopping prize of 100,00won which we generously donated back to the kids, and of course superstar status for the rest of the evening.

If you want to relive the Macarena, Barbie Girl DDR style, the great Bboys, the amazingness of “The Carlton” or watch a tap dancer slam her ass so hard on the ground that she pulls her groin muscle, I beg you to please tickle your eyeballs with the video below. I promise you it’s worth every second of the 4 minutes that it is.

I hope you enjoyed the speedy version of the past 3 months. I’ve felt like quite the sorority girl that I never was.

OH, and if you live under a rock, I’ll be gracing the United States of America January 12th~25th. So, if you know what’s good for you you’ll accompany me as I eat myself a winter coat during the duration of my visit, and come celebrate my birthday the evening of January 19th. SEE YOU SOON AMERICA!!!

I Barack’d the Vote!

October 15, 2012June 1, 20132 Comments

This weekend I checked one big thing off my to-do list! I voted in my third Presidential election, and filled out my first absentee ballot, which was a bit exciting! I’ve been trying to figure out the process to vote from abroad for the past couple weeks but kept getting confused. Then, my friend Josh told me that the US Embassy was having a special day for all foreigners to come and cast their absentee ballots. Ka-ching! Off we went to BARACK THE VOTE!

I never pay much attention to politics, but I’ve gotten quite interested and eager to listen to the debates and all the hooha going on with the upcoming election. Perhaps a sign that I am getting older? Also, screw Romney for trying to take away our ovary’s rights.

Here is a picture of mine, Steph’s and Josh’s absentee ballots ready to be sent off to our designated counties in California, Washington and Florida. All of us proudly Barack’d the vote (I’m gonna keep saying that til it goes out of style…which will be never).

And another posing with the seal at the US Embassy in Seoul, ballots in hand.

Hopefully Obama wins, because I’m really excited to be home in the states for it on my birthday AKA Inauguration day AKA January 20th! #fourmoreyears (Yes I just hastagged in a blog post, so what).

Diary from my Death Bed

August 30, 2012June 1, 2013Leave a comment

Just to update all ya’ll peeps, I thought I should let you know that I am fine and out of the hospital, out of my bed and back at school. Last week I happened to get really sick out of what seemed like nowhere and it was so miserable. I’ve never been sick like that before. I didn’t eat for a week, could barely sleep because my whole body hurt (still does a bit) and was throwing up pretty non-stop. My old co-teacher-turned-friend, Leni, was my little Korean mommy and took really good care of me though, along with Jin who was the first one to come to my rescue and take me to see a doctor finally.

Long story short, the 2nd doctor I went to told me that I would have to go to a hospital after running a blood test because he thought I may have caught Hepatitis A or some other disease from traveling in the Philippines. So, after a violently dramatic performance of throwing up in the doctor’s office, Leni whisked me off to the big hospital where I was hooked up to an IV and got some much needed fluids back in my system. They probably took 4 or 5 viles of blood from me so they could test for everything I requested. One of my many bug bites had gotten infected in the Philippines, so I had them test for Dengue Fever, Malaria and anything you can catch from a stupid mean bug.

This is me partying with the typhoon and my IV. He was a great dance partner. I was an equally pleasant partner.

After I got back from the hospital, my other Korean angel mommy, Jeewon, came up to North Korea to prepare me a heaping batch of the vegetable soup I had been craving all day. I love her.

Turns out all my tests came back negative, but my liver is all out of whack. How that is possible, I have no idea, considering I am Grandma Schaeff and barely drink, but the doctor said it’s manageable and will go back to normal on its own. So I go back to be checked out again on Monday, before which I starve myself all day at school so I can go get my blood drawn again. Oh well, at least I’ll find out if I’m A-OK or not 🙂

Anyways, thought you might like to know that I’m alright. Philippines post coming soon 🙂