Category: Humor Me

Blood Suckers of the Unsexy Type

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I would like to start by emphasizing that Korea has the worst, most disgusting weather I have ever experienced, especially in the summer!  Right now is monsoon season, so while it’s 150% muggy and you’re wet and sticky the second you open the door to walk out of your previously air-conned room, it’s also most likely pouring buckets outside and the mosquitoes are flying around at a rapid pace looking for the next patch of skin to suck blood from. They have decided to make me their #1 victim and I am about ready to claw all of my skin off!!!!!

Last weekend after Mud Fest I counted 30+ bug bites on my legs and arms. Then on Tuesday I went out to the suburbs of Seoul with school and we walked up to a stream then had an over-extended dinner above said stream.  I WAS DYING and got bit probably 30 more times in a 3 hour time span. I wanted to run screaming and get on that damn bus so damn bad. But no. We sat sat sat, they drank drank drank, I was bored bored bored.  Not only was the language barrier very prevalent that evening, I was annoyed and getting bitten, while all the Koreans seemed to remain untouched and just kept getting drunker and drunker. I read online that apparently the mosquitoes think foreign blood is a delicacy.  UGH.

This is my left inner thigh at the moment. I look like I have some skin-eating disease, but I am merely bruising myself because I can’t stop scratching.  These Korean mosquitoes are unlike any others I’ve encountered.  They are a million times worse than they are in SE Asia.  They make the polka-dotted legs that I acquired in Vietnam and Cambodia look like little pricks. While those were huge, these ones are like little over-sized underground pimple demons that ooze the worst itches of life. I can’t stop scratching til they bleed, and hydrocortisone and bug spray are NOT working.  I even tried rubbing dry soap on them, and will try toothpaste tonight.  Nothing has soothed the itch yet.  UGH UGH UGH. Anyways, I just wanted to bitch and moan and show you how disgusting my leg is.  Enjoy because I’m sure as hell NOT.

 

An Awkward Date & Signing Away My Life

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A couple awkward things happened in the past couple days.  Won’t you let me tell you about them?

1. There is a little maintenance man who works at my school, and who also happens to live in Danggogae up in North Korea where I live.  About a month or so ago he sold me my pretty purple bike with a basket.  Ever since then he has been so nice to me and literally every time he sees me starts rambling mumbo jumbo that I don’t understand, throws his hands up in excitement and then brings me some kind of treat.  First it was a peanut butter sandwich that he probably got from Family Mart down the street, then it was a Capri Sun, then it was a ginger drink, then an energy Bacchus drink, ice cream and a cup of ice water, then it was 2 pieces of caramel candy. THEN he wanted to get 피자 (“peecha”…or pizza) with me in our hood. After asking me (thru Jin) a couple times, I obliged. So we met this past Sunday at 3pm in the Dontgogay. This is the story of how I was courted by a tiny little ajussi (old Korean man).

First we ate Nangmyeon (냉면) which is delish.  It’s buckwheat noodles in an icey cold broth with a hard boiled egg, julienned cucumber and pears and then you put vinegar and dijon mustard in to taste. Tis the perfect summer meal! Anyways, we went and ate that first.  He talked to me, I didn’t understand, he slurped uncontrollably, I tried to remain unnerved by it.

Next he bought me an iced latte from the 17th Street coffee shop that I sometimes go to.  I drank, he smoked a cigarette and tried to talk with me some more.  He basically said Itaewon (the foreigner area) over and over again because he knows I went there one of many weekends.

THEN after motioning to me if I wanted any home supplies (I didn’t), we went over to the THE school.  Pizza School that is.  He motioned for me to pick out any pizza I wanted, so I chose cheese pizza.  This is him sitting and waiting for it to finish cooking.  That’s his jazzy bike in the foreground.

And to conclude our “date,” he put my pizza on the back of his bike, walked me in a circle through some janky Danggogae alley way, back to the station and to the hill before I turn off to go to my apartment.  Gladly he did not walk me further so he doesn’t know where I live. Then he told me “bali bali” (kinda like hurry hurry, go go), handed me my pizza and I was off on my way.

It was slightly awkward, but it’s interactions like this that make me so happy I’m living abroad.  It’s so interesting to me how two people literally can not effectively communicate because of a thing called language. So simple yet so complex.  Good sociology project I reckon.

2. For those who are out of the loop, I renewed my contract and signed my life away to Korea for one more year.  The first step in the renewal process is to get a medical check.  You know, to make sure I don’t have AIDS and to see if the crack is all out of my system.  The whole check consists of peeing in a cup, giving blood, getting a chest x-ray, getting my blood pressure, vision, hearing, height and weight checked, and being “interviewed” (if you can even call it that) by a doctor.  All he was concerned about was if I had any cocaine or other narcotics exposure and if I had the AIDS. Thank God I’m not a dirty waygook!

Anyways, my male co-teacher, Mr. Jang, took me and it was slightly awkward, but whatever in the grand scheme of things.  The part that really gave me a good giggle was when he directed me to the room I was supposed to go change into the x-ray gown in.  He points and whispers to me “now you must go in and take off your clothes.”  Normal co-teacher chatter. Afterwards, he continued to stand behind me through each process.  He honestly could have just sat in the waiting room while I handled it. I’m a big girl.  He almost walked me right into the women’s restroom stall until I put a hand up and said “I got it.”  He got the message.

So yea, next on the list of renewal to-dos is to renew my visa at immigration.  Now all you people who have not come to visit me have a whole year longer to figure out how to get to the far east.  Make it happen.

 

2 Morons Went To A Lady GAGA Concert

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Well, this is for sure going to be the most embarrassing, moronic, completely stupid post I will ever write on this here blog.  Why? you ask.  Plain and simple, Collin and I are morons/pop concert music vets (turned amateur) and expected FAR MORE from a Lady GAGA concert. UGH. Please read on to feel good about yourself and laugh at our dismay.

To begin, I fucking L-O-V-E Lady GAGA and it has been a dream to finally check her off my list of pop divas I’ve seen in concert. Then I found out that she was kicking off her world tour in SEOUL while I’m living here, I thought HOLY SHIT, this will be AMAZEBALLZ. Collin and I scurried to buy tickets  on the crackpot Korean site a couple months ago and I have been bumping Lady GAGA even more than I do on the regz, and that’s a lot. So you can imagine how many subway rides consisted of the Lady bumpin in my ears.

Fast forward to Friday. In between classes I was watching GAGA videos, after classes I was blasting GAGA from the amazing speakers in my classroom.  Left school, headed to Holley’s to get glamorized and drunk for the festivities. I planned my whole outfit to slightly mirror the “Marry the Night” video plus hot pink lipstick. It felt like Halloween 2.0.  Collin was last minute scrambling for fishnets, liquid leggings, caution tape, mini florescent tank tops…anything that would convey GAGA~GAY and that she is the devil by Korean standards.  Here’s me doing his makeup, and then us just sexing up the camera.

This is where the haziness of this night begins. We left Holley’s around 7:45pm maybe (not sure, but I think). Collin changed into Steph’s liquid pleather leggings on the street, and we bolted for the subway.

We got to Olympic Stadium probably around 8:15pm thinking that there was going to be an opening act on the stage so it was fine that we got there a tad after the schedule 8pm show. We heard GAGA songs coming from the stadium, but we just assumed it was a track playing, because that’s what it sounded like, that’s normal for concerts back home before the act goes on, and plus there were so many people just outside the stadium! NEWSFLASH: No opening acts and everything starts promptly per the ticket here in Korea.

Well, we bolt to get inside, and Collin and I lose everyone and start scopin out how we’re gonna sneak down to the front. We find a railing lacking any form of security guard, we hoist ourselves over it and jump to the level below. I got “caught” one of the five times that we did it, mid-strattle, and all the 2 “security guards” said was “No.” and I carried on walking briskly through the lower level. Guess they’re just not used to people not following the rules here in Korea.   Please keep in mind that while this is happening GAGA is in fact on stage performing.  We were just so convinced that it was a cover band because there were zero close ups, it sounded like pure track, her hair looked like GAGA circa 4 years ago, there were 2 catwalks which were not used, most importantly, she was wearing PANTS. AND on top of that, I was expecting a complete madhouse because I’ve always heard that Asian fans are the nuttiest.  But no. they were all literally just standing there with arms crossed.  SEE?!

All signs led to GAGA cover band, because that seems normal for Korea too.  The only thing that made us question our judgement was the occasional time she spoke to the crowd, or rather, yelled FUCK to the crowd.  There were about 6 times that Collin and I stopped in our tracks, stared at each other and said “I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. IS IT HER?!” Meanwhile, I was texting my friend Jeremy who I thought was telling me insider info, that yes, she goes on after the cover band around 11pm.  That got lost in translation because he didn’t realize he was talking to a couple of morons who THOUGHT they were watching a cover band.  He just wanted to find out when people were leaving the concert to go to dirty Hongdae. Erg.

We found a few aisles that we scoped out for “when the concert actually started” where we could post up. So, in short, the entire concert Collin and I were scoping out the perfect place for the concert that was never going to happen because it was already happening. We probably paid attention to max 3 songs. In fact, I can remember the 3 songs we paid attention to ~ Americano, Paparazzi and Just Dance.  We were so set on the fact that we were watching a cover band. During the encore, we were in the concession area taking photos and being annoyed that our phone service wasn’t working so we could tell the rest of our crew to come down and sneak up with us.

After the encore, I asked some Koreans why they were all running/leaving. They looked at me blankly and continued running. Collin and I even ran over to the area that looked like the gateway to the floor so that we could get a prime seat for THE SHOW. We were asked to leave because the “show was over.”

So, that’s the tale of how two GAGA fans were made to look a fool. At least it’s an amazing story.  I still believe that the show was extremely tailored for konservative Korea.  If you didn’t hear, all the super Christians turned to prayer to ask God to prevent the concert from happening in Seoul because Lady GAGA worships the devil and will turn people gay and will make them watch pornography.  Basically, they think she is the spawn of Satan. NEWSFLASH, but your 5th grader probably already watches porn on his Samsung smartphone.

Here is the one photo that Collin and I have of us with Lady GAGA at the concert.  And I believe we said “let’s take a photo with the GAGA cover band behind us.” UGH.

At least I didn’t pay hundos for this concert, otherwise I woulda probably gone and watched some porn, turned gay and killed myself for paying all that money to see Satan’s offspring.

 

I’m a Celebrity

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Well, not really.  But kinda.  Somehow I was nominated to be the waygook spokesperson and was interviewed (and air kissed on camera) last weekend when I went on that DMZ bike tour with Seoulites.

No one will be able to read this article, but scroll down to watch my debut Korean television appearance around the 30 second mark, and scroll even further to see the sexy group of folks I rode with.

The caption under the photo of all of us reads like this, according to Google Translate: “Fighting foreigners who participated in the DMZ bike tour is taking pictures and shouting.”  That’s exactly what we were doing.

Get Out Of My Way.

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My 7 month Korean anniversary was yesterday, so I celebrated at a waygook St. Patty’s Day Festival in Sindorim.  All the kokos probably thought “wtf is with all the waygooks in green today?” It was lovely to be in an area with all foreigners (waygook ＝ foreigner), wonderful friends, face painting, a Korean U2 cover band (who were actually pretty good!), some Irish dancing and lots of day drinking.

There are lots of things I really really like about Korea, such as: everything is cute (EVERYTHING), THE BABIES, public transportation is wonderful, you can always find fried chicken (I never really ate fried chicken before moving here, and omg), best coffee shops ever, THE BABIES, being here is like a break from life and it’s amazing, buying near anything on the run is always so convenient (makeup, booze, a new outfit, whatevz), the shopping is OFF THE CHAIN, etc. Oh, and THE BABIES. Cutest babies in the world.

There are also many things that are starting to piss me off about Korea, such as: everyone always on their damn smart phones 24/7, walking like snails, men carrying women’s purses, not knowing what I’m eating half the time, no water at lunch (just salty soup), they eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner (I’m starting to get really sick of Korean food), the awful customer service, or lack thereof….and being PUSHED ALL THE TIME.

I really started realizing the things that have been wearing on me when returning “home” from my travels.  I found myself getting constantly irritated by Korean things. Yesterday one thing really HIT me, literally. Someone hit me. As I was walking to my transfer in the subway, just walkin along, iPod in my ears, minding my own damn business like every other Korean, some old ajussi (old Korean man) walked head on towards me, jutted his arms out, and literally SHOVED me out of his way. Um, pardon, but I’m a walking, living human being.  Get some spatial awareness and some manners PLEASE. I might not look like you, but I’m not an inanimate object you just shove out of your way.  Ah, the Land of Push & Shove.

I wonder if CCTV caught that live in action. Probably.

But yea, 7 months have passed.  Kinda cray cray.  Despite the nagging things, I’m still loving it here, yo.  I’m also a bit shocked I haven’t gotten supremely homesick like I thought I would. Maybe that’ll kick in soon.

LOVE YOU!! ❤

 

 

Hideous

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Get your laughs in now!

I guess this is as official as it gets, aside from standing in front of and telling kids to shut up. I think this photo might be even more horrendous than my first drivers license when I was 17. This is how the 6th graders will remember me for all eternity. With frizzed hair and fat face.

That’s Danielle Teacher to you.

Jin to my right, and Leni the row in front of me on my right. And Mr. Principal next to my Vice Principal that I accidentally cut off. I think he looks like Mr. Miyamoto, my 5th grade teacher.

 

Ho Ho Ho-ing It Up

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I know, I know, it’s been a year and a day since I wrote to you world.  My deepest apologies. But, I’ve just been so f’ing busy trying to plan a Hollywood themed Winter English camp that I start teaching the day after I stumble off the plane in Incheon on New Years Day, after a, what I’m assuming will be, ridiculous trip and a 6am flight that is giving me anxiety already.  Pardon that run-on, but it warranted it.  So yea, let me try and give a quick catch up on the recent happs, because the next thing I write about will be after Thailand. AHH!  It snuck up on me so fast!!  BOO! Ahhh!

In the past 2 weeks it has snowed two times (but according to Mirandawg from 6,000 miles away, it doesn’t classify as snow. Dirty Jersey snob!) But I don’t care what she says, there was white frosty stuff falling from the sky on 2 occasions, my building has icicles hanging off the edges, and my fingers and toes want to fall off from numbness.  On top of the snow, the frigid cold is numbing, and my classroom is so huge that it fails miserably to heat up.  I’ve been wearing thick ass tights under my jeans and 1-2 pairs of socks on top of them PLUS boots and my toes still want to die. I’ve even resorted to using a kid’s puffy vest that they left in class as a blanket for my feet under my desk. Oh well.  It’s my foot warmer now.  And now it’s time to invest in a heating blanket and/or heater for under my desk.

Itaewon 3am snow dribbles & a kebab.

I finally went ice skating in Seoul! I have been wanting to go so bad and finally went.  Helllloooo winter!  I went last week with a British lad whom I like to call Leonidas King of Sparta. He lives right by Lotte World, which is an amusement park, and there is an indoor ice skating rink there! There are several other rinks also throughout the city, some inside and some outside. I was expecting it to be super cold (given my prior ice skating rink experience) and almost brought my brand new super warm and fat coat, but thank God I didn’t because I was schvitzing hardcore the entire time!   Compared to the show-off speed skaters spinning circles around the center of the rink (some face planting and eating shit), Sparta and I were skating at quite the slow pace, mostly because he was clenching every muscle in his body (and my arm) to not fall over.  Great success because he didn’t fall, nor did he bring me down with him. Thank god for that because I was wearing a skirt and that wouldn’t have been lady like.  He will hate me, but such is life.  Here’s some comic relief for you.  The one time I took my camera out to videotape, I got him plowing into a precious hand-holding Korean couple. Pardon my potty mouth and Blair Witch Project video skills.

Smart lil Koreans they are, misspelling when they spend all them won on us Englishee speakers!

Ice rink at Lotte World! Doesn’t it look magical?

Strugglin to stand still.  It’s slippery out there!

The holiday season/best time of the year has officially begun and I must say it feels nice to be in a different city this year to celebrate! There have been a couple excuses to go out, drink a bottle of makkoli and don a Santa hat in the past couple weekends, which has been lovely. 2 weekends ago was Santacon, which basically entailed a crapload of people gathering dressed up like Santa.  Like a good Jew I participated, if only because the Santi hat made my head feel rather warm.

Lots o’ Santas for Santacon in Hongdae!

Aren’t they gorgeous?

2 great Seoul loves. Santa Collina and Benji Boo Boo Pippylongstocking Bear…and random Korean Santi Claus.

My one true Seoul love. The KOKmaster.

Friday night was pretty mellow but I hung out with some new friends and it just felt nice to meet some new people and go and just HANG OUT in a different part of town besides Zen/Hongdae for a change.  Saturday I impressed myself with my productivity.  I hardcore planned winter camp at Cafe Bene during the day, and then that night rewarded myself with a delicious Mexican feast cooked by one Miz Professor Heyduck, with a side of some saucy, much needed girl time before we all scamper off to different parts of the world for the holidays.  Video below (though I might get my head chopped off for posting it. Oh well). Afterwards, the 4 of us met up with our pallios in Itaewon for some more Santi hat wearing and imbibing.  I saw pretty much everyone I wanted to see that night, and was just happy happy happy ;).  Not to mention, put over the moon at the most ghetto club in all of Itaewon (The Loft, or as I like to call it, the UNclub). Collin and I shared an EPIK few moments of dance party madness.  The Macarena, Spice Girls and Footloose.  Back to back.  Made my life. It was a great weekend to say the least.  I’d say one of my favorite weekends so far in Korea…not sure why, just was 🙂

I look aZn. Yea?

This week has been almost non-existent at school since the vacation ceremony is tomorrow and technically we get to leave school at noon after a staff meeting.  The kids have also been done after lunch everyday.  Super sweet and gives me time to get my shit done! I left today with pretty much nothing left to do before I leave except tie up a few loose ends and tweak some things.  Feels good, one less thing to worry about when my 6am New Years day flight is clouding my brain. Livin’ some part of my life on the edge.  Yea-yuh.

I will conclude this posty post with an adorable picture and video of my 3rd & 4th grade babies making chocolate pudding during our final afterschool class. Thanks to Mama Schaeff for sending the pudding to me and helping make some little kiddos very happy while making, eating and watching (and FINALLY finishing) Charlie & the Chocolate Factory (after about 15x of start and stop).

Those punims!!!!

Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas and a very Happy Kwanzaa to all.  Until next year……. mwah!

PS. I’m fine in terms of the DICKtator’s death. Mom, you can stop sending me 3 emails every hour telling me to come home. LOVE YOU!

Drugs, Discos and Other Decadencies

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Pardon my excessive delay and the length of this post. But I know for many of you this blog is the sunshine in your life, so I promise it is filled with lots of eye goodies. Do enjoy the recent happs!

I must admit the last couple weekends I’ve been pretty lame because I’ve felt like a pile of crapola. But, you will be happy to hear that I took myself to the doctor to get some drugs like a mature (pronounced like matour) a-dult.  Back at home I was pretty bad about taking care of myself, mostly because I didn’t have insurance for a while (UGH), lived crappy paycheck to crappy paycheck, and tried to refrain from the already incessant credit card usage.  Therefore,  I would just let the fake smoker’s cough grow and grow and I’d slowly die at my desk in my thick cloud of Mucinex.  Well, you will be pleased to know that I will be taking care of myself over yonder because 1. I’m terrified of getting sick here, especially when it starts to snow, and 2. it is SOO freakin cheap! This jew likey!

My co-teacher Leni took me to the “hospital” (as they call the doctor here) down the street from my work on Monday.  It’s a bit like Urgent Care back home where you can just walk in anywhere and they will see you.  All I have to do is show them my ARC (Alien card) and it covers as insurance.  So, we left work early at 4 because apparently if we got there after 4:30 we’d have to wait for 1 hour.  I walked in, they took my temperature right in the waiting room, which I thought was hilarious, then I sat down and waited 5 minutes to see the doc. I walk in, sit down and he just looks at me.  I was expecting to need translation and just use big hand gestures, but once I started speaking a little slow he was like “yes yes, elaborate” and I was so excited to see he spoke damn good English.  I told him the usual symptoms, I coughed to show him how gross it is, he squeezed my glands to prove they were swollen (which hurt) and then did a lot of talking in Korean to Leni who then relayed all the info to me. The doctor was super nice and asked me where I was from.  When I told him LA he got excited and asked “where in LA? My-uh parents lives-uh in Las-uh Virgeneees.” Well isn’t that a small world. I told him my family is from Agoura Hills and he was vaguely familiar with the suburb. That made me feel a wee bit more at home.  We then said goodbye and thanks, I paid the measly 3,000won (about $3) to see the doctor and then walked next door to get my drugs. For 7,000won (about $7ish), I got a bottle of Nasonex, and 3 days worth of a cocktail of pills (I have no clue what I’m taking). I literally lept to pay and sign and then told the pharmacists (who also spoke English!) that a bottle of that same nasal spray (or one similar) back at home cost me a whopping $150 fat ones! Screw you American medicine.  Given the cheapness factor, I’m also highly considering getting Lasik done while I’m here.  Total it’ll probs cost be a little over $1k for both eyes.  Nice-uhh.  This is how my drugs came prepared for me. Silly Asians and their silly ways.  And yes, that’s and outdated copy Elle of Justin and Mila in the background. Nom. Girl needs her eye candy.

Moving on to the things that I HAVE been doing despite my glorious sickness. A couple weekends ago was a long weekend here, I think it was for the independence or creation of Korea.  One of the two. What that meant for us teachers was long weekend!  I got Monday and Tuesday off (all my other friends only got Monday off), so it was very very nice.  This was the weekend I began feeling not too hott, so I stayed in that Friday and Saturday night like a responsible adult in hopes of getting better.  However, I did decide to go on a rigorous hike on Saturday with my lady loves.  I don’t really know what I was thinking given the fact that I’m not a big hike lover to begin with, but I never want to miss out on an exploration opportunity so I just suck it up and go because I know I’m gonna want to see that amazing view from the top.  So, I went with Katie, Abby, Steph and Liz to hike Dobongson mountain, which is actually fairly close to where I like in NorKo.  What started out as an almost vertical incline at the base (UGH) turned out to be more like rock climbing as we got deeper.  That was fun, though I’m such a freakin girl when it comes to getting my hands dirty.  I kept commenting on how every time I place my hand down I’m looking for the least dirty spot, and then I always dust my hands off immediately after hoisting myself up. I am actually really glad though that it was more rock and rope climbing because it’s way more fun, even though I’m way more scared of climbing up things than jumping off them.  Normal right? Anyways, we trekked thru but didn’t end up making it all the way to the top.  We met a sweet little Korean man who befriended us and told us we should probably consider making our way down because we still had a little ways to go and wouldn’t want to get stuck up there when it got darker.  So we made our way down the very tricky trail.  We insisted our new friend come to dinner with us, to which he found us a little bibimbap place, ordered 2 bibimbaps for the 5 of us girls and thought that would fill us up. No no little Korean man.  We are North American women who like to eat and didn’t pack lunches for our hike. He ordered us 3 more with the most shocked look on his face, and then sat and watched us eat.  He later told us he wanted a hamburger.  Go figure.  Here’s some pictorals of the beautiful hike, view of Seoul, and the gorgeous temple we saw along the way.

God I love long weekends. That Monday a bunch of us met up for a day in Olympic Park.  It was such a gorgeous day out.  Twas super chill and just nice to hang out with good peeps and drink the Makkali (sp?).  Makkali is this milky soju alcohol that is sort of fizzy and weird.  But it’s aight. My lovely recruiter Dia, who I LOVE came as well, so that fulfilled the Korean quotient.  Some friends played soccer with the cutest little Korean baby, some lounged and read like scholars, some listened to music and drank to happy times, and all gazed up at the phallic statue towards the sky. It was a lovely lovely day had by all.  Take a gander will ya.

Then Tuesday rolled around, and I had been planning to venture into Hyehwa to show myself around the artsy part of Seoul since I had the day off and I had been dying to go there.  The day turned into a full on walking tour with a British lad.  He lives 2 stops away from Hyehwa,  so we met at his exit and walked there.  There wasn’t much going on since it was during the day, but I got an idea of the area and decided I needed to come back at night.  We then walked further to Dongdaemun, which is what I would compare to the Fashion District in Downtown LA, but with a huge temple in the center.  We walked along the river (at quite the brisk pace because he walks too fast) where there was some religious group performing on the river stage (interesting), and then got caught in the huge textile building that we thought was going to be a mall.  Holy hell was it hot and clusterfuckish in there.  Moving on, we made our way back through Myeong-dong, which is hardcore for the shopper.  My feet were killing me but it was a pretty awesome day, and the company wasn’t too shabby either. Shockingly, I snoozed on the photo taking, but here’s a couple of the ones I took.

Random street in Hyehwa

Love this!

Dongdaemun Palace

I did end up going back to Hyehwa at night, which I will get to in a bit.  Before that though, I would like to say that I can check off going to a silent disco from my bucket list.  God bless you Hongdae Park and your random happenings.  This past Saturday night I was about to send myself home early after a long day of voice-overing (saving that for another post) because I was feeling like crap again.  But thank god I didn’t.  The silent disco cost 3,000won for the headphones and it was just a party in the park and freaks all over the place.  I think you can imagine what it was like, so here’s some pictorals.

Back to Hyehwa! I went back Tuesday night after my plans to go to a soccer game got changed.  I went back with that British lad  for dinner and then a jazz bar.  I must say, it has been something I’ve wanted to do for a long time and just never did.  This one was called Jazz Story.  It was so cool and I’m glad it was my first. Twas delightful company, the ambiance was gorgeous inside (I kept thinking their interior decorator did a bomb job lol), and the band was divine.  It was an all Korean band but they sang pretty much all English songs from the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s with a few Korean jams thrown in.  I think I really got off on the right foot when the first song they sang was the theme from “Grease” (aka my favorite movie ever). They also sang some Beatles, Stevie Wonder, and some Hotel California amongst others. LOVED. IT.  This is their sign which I just love.  It’s made from car headlights!

I know this was an intensive course in the past couple weeks, sorry, but I hope you enjoyed the visuals 🙂 Today and tomorrow my 5th and 6th graders are gone at some Halloween/Talent show camp so I’ve got my days wide open which is an awesome and welcomed break.  I got to Skype with Kayla and Mama, Papa and Brotha Schaeff and show them all my classroom too.  I will leave this post with 3 different images.  One that will leave a disgusting taste in your mouth (or eyeballs), and two that will make you giggle.  Enjoy until next time. Mwah!

Just some innards of a fish being sold on the street. nbd.

Drunk, passed out Korean man occupying a few too many seats on the subway, and oblivious business man.

This is what my parents look like when they Skype with me. Love you 🙂

An I’m So Happy I’m In Korea Moment

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There have been a couple times so far since arriving in Korea where I had an “I’m so happy I’m in Korea moment.” The first was during orientation when we were at the folk village.  We were watching dancers do a native dance where they had these crazy streamers on their heads and it was like they were dancing with their heads, but they were also jumping and playing drums. It was just so cool.

Last night I had another one of these totally feel-good-about-my-decision moments.  It was my Vice Principal’s last day at my school and all the teachers went out to a Korean BBQ dinner at a super fancy restaurant close to school. My 2 co-teachers felt awful because I don’t eat pork and that’s what we were eating, so they ordered me this cold noodle dish in a super spicy red sauce. I completely forget what it’s called, but I thought it was bomb.  And their version of spicy is not comparable to mine.  I want more spicy!  We also ate probably the 100th different type of kimchi I’ve tried since coming to Korea, salad, raw onions in this soyish type of sauce, and some other dish which I have no idea what it was and neither do they.  It seemed sushi-ish and was tasty, but I’m clueless. For dessert we had this rice cake type cake that none of them liked, but I thought it tasted like bread so I enjoyed it haha.  The dinner was awesome because I got to actually hang out with my co-teachers and meet some of the other younger teachers.  Many of them don’t really like to speak English because they are nervous about the language, but they were speaking with me, so I felt quite happy about making them feel comfortable enough to talk to me. The night went on, we ate, talked, and drank. And drank. And drank. At one point I looked over and saw my Principal downing shot after shot of soju with some of the other teachers.  I think he kind of looks like my 5th grade teacher Mr. Miyamoto. Only I never saw Mr. Miyamoto taking shots.

Here are some pictures of the food and of my 2 co-teachers and some of the others. Leni is the girl on the left making a peace sign, and then Jin is the one in the picture with me 🙂

THEN the fun continued.  To those of you who don’t know what a Norebang is, it’s karaoke, but in your own private room.  The Koreans are nuts about this shit!  SO, you have about 15 happy drunk Koreans and lil ol’ American Danielle piled into a room, tambourines are handed out, water and more drinks are brought in on a tray, and the book of songs is opened for people to pick their song. I never karaoke.  As many of you know, you probably don’t want to hear me sing because I am that god awful. But no, I was forced to sing. And I was forced to sing a duet, in English, to a song I’ve never in my life heard before…with my Principal (who doesn’t speak a lick of English, but knew this random song).  He was dancing like a little Asian man and I was dancing and singing and laughing the entire time. OMG it was fun. Everyone has to sing, and Mr. Principal was not letting me get off the hook by only singing with him.  I had to sing again.  This time I sang with my adorable co-teacher Leni.  OMG she is so cute and loves to sing, and she’s super teeny so she was super drunk! We sang a song by Lenka that she chose because I didn’t feel comfortable enough yet to whip out some Bieber Fever.  In due time it shall come.

This brings me to the moment I had that “I’m so happy I’m here” feeling.  After everyone sang, we all stood in a circle in this little tiny room filled with tambourines and disco lights and held hands.  Principal sang a song in Korean which I had no idea what he was saying, but I could just feel it was a happy/sad song.  The Vice Principal then went around the circle and gave everyone hugs and cried a bit.  I only met her a few times but she was so sweet.  It was amazing how I didn’t even know the words, or really her for that matter but I really did feel overwhelmed, but maybe just because I was so happy in that moment to be there.  The teachers are all so kind and sweet to me, and I love watching them bow whenever they say hello or goodbye.  I used to think it was a little weird and awkward, well, I still kind of do, but it just comes off as so respectful and you can just tell they’re all such nice people. Anyways, I had my moment and it was awesome.

I’m sure I’m going to have many “get me the hell out of here” moments too (like when the little 3rd grader with severe ADHD came and took over my classroom yesterday), but it’s nice to know that these ones just pop up out of no where 🙂

Now I shall leave you with a video of my amazing duet with my beautiful co-teacher Leni.  Enjoy the norebang (before my memory card space ran out) and my super sexy singing voice!

Never thought I’d say this…

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But I kinda like the government….at least for the time being (minus the stupid parking ticket I got in Beverly Hills today). I knew I couldn’t get out of LA without one more meter maid doing their stupid mean job.

ANYWAYS, I must say that I have had such luck with governments throughout this whole process. First the US government is nice and apostilles my CBC for me without a check..awwww. And today when I went to the Korean consulate to apply for my visa, I was literally in and out in 5 minutes.  Handed over my NOA, signed a few pages on my contract, forked over a whopping $45 and a passport photo and I was out the door.  Thoroughly impressed, I must say. Oh, and my visa will be ready for pick up tomorrow. Now I just gotta book my flight. Holy crap. That is all.