I’ve been a total perv lately. Seeing as the time bomb is ticking quickly on my Korean journey, I’ve been trying my hardest to get myself and my fellow perverts to a Penis Park in this country, and to no avail.
BUT, I found the next best thing!
Over the weekend I conquered two things: figuring out how to use the Seoul Bus app on my phone that has been lying dormant for 3 years, and visiting a penis themed PLACE. I successfully figured out what all the bus station codes mean and how to properly plug them into the app so that Chrissy and I knew exactly how much time we had until the bus headed for Pocheon was gonna fetch us from the non-existent bus stop stop at Wangsimni Station.
After a 2 hour traffic filled bus ride from central Seoul to the glorious green countryside of Pocheon, we landed at the station that came after the station we were supposed to get off at. In the theme of the day, we had a truly dickish bus driver who completely overshot our bus stop all together after we AND a group of Korean girls told him the station we would be exiting at. He exited the bus, turned off the motor, and lit a cigarette outside the mart across the street before we could even swipe our T-Money cards out. Don’t mind any common decency or customer service, for I am AJUSSI!
With that, we took a stroll backwards in search of the World Mart station, wherever it may be. We later discovered it was unmarked as well, and with no “World Mart” in sight. Along our wander, we stopped to admire heaps of yellow Korean melon before stopping at the GS25 for directions to Deulmusae, the local penis cafe. The young guy working there had no idea what we were talking about, but a nice lady stopped to help us figure it out. Turns out she was with her hubs and 2 little daughters aged 6 and 8 or 9. This would begin the awkwardness of the day, surely.
As her husband Navered the directions, it calculated that we were about 30 minutes away. His phone was 100% incorrect. But, he told us to hop in the car and they’d take us to our destination. We tried our best to fenagle our way out of the generosity, but before we knew it, their 2 little girls were grabbing our hands, handing us a piece of candy for the road, and escorting us into their playground of a backseat. Sandwiched between our two little playmates and their Gak, colored pencils, and every toy under the sun, we were taken on a 5 minute drive, which resulted in the most horrendously awkward thank you and goodbye I have ever been involved in.
Turning right at the yellow sign we had been looking for, we drove across the penis lined bridge to the shrine that is Deulmusae. We were living up to the foreigner cliche that KBS tells the public is truth. Trying desperately to contain our laughter, Chrissy and I were graciously let out of the car by the giggling parents (who I could not look in the eyes), and were greeted by a garden of erections. A happy afternoon we were to have!
This place is beyond unbelievable. As you enter there is a man baking penis bread filled with red bean in his penis mold bread maker.
Then you’re greeted by a big ol dick, and a map of the world illustrated in…you guessed it.
Walking through the cafe, it’s a pervert’s paradise, really. Dicks of every shape and size everywhere.
Dick family portrait.
In case one is curious as to what it feels like to be the opposite gender.
Surprisingly, in a country so buttoned up about anything sexual, the place was overflowing with the elderly. Literally every other customer aside from us and one other group of foreigners were old people, and they giggled whenever their food was served and every time they took a phallic photo. Instant bonding with the monster breed in this country.
Double the fun. The bread was warm and yummy, though I’d like to make a suggestion for the Deli Manjoo creamy filling. More delicious and more realistic.
Oh, and so this is a cafe/restaurant after all, so you’ve got to see the tableware! We ordered Dongdongju, fish donkkas and hamburger steak to share, and look at that presentation! The men are served their meals on vagina plates, and the women on penis plates, and the same goes for the cups. This is apparently supposed to balance out male and female energy, or Yin and Yang. Ok. Let’s just say a lot of thought went into every detail of this place.
The also have tons of the makkoli jugs with faces of famous Korean politicians and actors on them. I even found one of Jin’s favorite politician, Ahn Cheol-soo, that we met last year when he was doing publicity by our school. I doubt they meant it, but how appropriate to put such people on a penis jug.
I hope you found my brief tour pleasurable! Now, I will leave you with some more modelings, and failed-to-be-captured leprechaun jumps on the penis lined bridge.
Twas a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon, and I highly recommend for anyone wanting to get down with their inner perv and experience yet another of Korea’s oddly themed establishments.
Directions: If you’d like to get down with your inner 변태 out in Pocheon, you’ve got to hop on the 3201 bus. We caught it at Wangsimni Station, but it makes several stops en route to the north, so if one is closer you could surely do that. The Wangwimni stop also doesn’t have a designated bus stop for this bus, but rather just kind of stand in between the other two bus stops and wait for the guy to come and flag him down, kinda dealy.
seoul | tapperilla 
Penis themed place… That’s what dreams are made of, for sure!
hahah so weird, but so good. yes! 😉
I really think the tea pots are the most interesting thing there. We’ve been all around SEAsia and have seen similar parks and carvings, but never that teapot.
ah yea, they were cool! the cups are funny too and we ended up buying one each for 5,000won haha. they thru in a complimentary keychain as well just for fun.
Wow, just when I thought Loveland in Jeju had the market on Dongs. What a display?!
it was pretty ridic! the plates and cups that they serve you with were so funny. you’re eating and then oh, look what we’ve got here haha
We have wanted to go there so badly, I love that there are dicks and vaginas on the plates of food! I can’t wait to go here! Awesome photos glad you got in there with those dongs!
Do it! I think they get tons of foreigners visiting them just taking pictures all over the place. They’d laugh but the servers pretty much all speak English probably for this reason. Those plates are absurd but so amazing! I hope you go soon!
…I’m confused: WHY is this place phallus-oriented, exactly???…
Korea has a lot of penis themed places/parks, and the typical myth behind all of the *erected* parks has to do with the balancing of the yin & yang, OR that a woman died a virgin after her lover died at sea. That’s also why most of these parks happen to be located on the water.
…OOOOoh–O.K.!!…
This gives Jeju’s LoveLand a run for its money. Some of those statues are…a bit more than well-endowed? Haha
Just a lil bit! I still want to get to Jeju!
Sometimes, you just gotta love the bizarreness of this country. As you said, the amount of detail put into this place is pretty admiring. My favorite is the map: so random and absurd that it’s awesome.
I know right, the weirdness of this country is what makes it so amazing 🙂 I was pretty fond of the map myself 😉
I’ve heard about and seen pictures of the one in Jeju and the one in Ulsan, but this one seems to be a lot more intense! I’ll definitely have to stop by there next time I’m up north! Thanks for the entertaining article!
For sure! I had only just found out about it so hopped on it immediately. The food wasn’t that bad either 🙂 I had no idea there’s another park in Ulsan?? Or is that the Castle in Gyeongju that Meagan mentioned below? Sad I didn’t know about that one when I was down there!
Very entertaining read, haha! Maybe I’m just a prude and/or boring but I’ve had no desire to go to any of Korea’s penis-themed parks! I just don’t get it! Looks like you had tons of fun though, and I do enjoy the posts from other people 😛
Yea, I’ve been almost alone in my obsession with wanting to see one. I think you are either totally into the oddness or have zero interest. I’m obsessed, and I still don’t get the fascination or why these are here.
As for the posts from other people….I got some pretty wild comments. Lovely to know I’m the girl between two dicks 😉
I had never heard of this place since I saw your post on facebook about it and I immediately put it on my list of things I MUST see before I leave Korea. I’ve been to Loveland on Jeju and Love Castle in Gyeongju and hope to visit Haesindang Park soon so I obviously have to go here! I love love love that you were dropped off by a wholesome Korean family. What an amazing story!
I’m happy to know I’m in good company when it comes to conquering these shrines that have been so oddly erected. I am jealous that you’ve been to two others though. The family dropping us off was seriously the icing on the cake. I don’t think it could have happened any other way, especially with my friend I was with. It’s so something that would happen to the two of us! Good thing their daughters were too young to know what the statues were, and were far more interested in showing us their crayons and Gak to even notice 🙂
I’ve heard about these places and seen a very small one (small as in park size, the dicks were just as ridiculously massive as they were at Deulmusae) on the east coast.
Like you said, it’s so hard to reconcile penis parks with the overall conservative Korean attitude towards sexuality. What a quirky country we live in!
Seriously! It makes it all the more funny I think. I also got a kick out of how there were literally only old people there giggling over their meals. The repression was finding its way out. Such a weird place we live in, but I love it!
Is this place for real? I’m dying. There’s just so much attention to detail!! I mean I’ve never been to Korea, but I guess I would have never expected them to be so… open. Hahaha
HAHA, yea, it’s pretty hard to believe until you’re served a whole lot more than you ordered. It’s even more hilarious and backwards because Korea is such a buttoned up culture when it comes to anything involving sex. Just gotta nod and enjoy it lol
We got lost in pocheon trying to find it last week. Thought we would give it another try but are having a difficult time getting directions. any help?
here is a map of the address with bus routes – https://goo.gl/maps/7cB4D
The easiest way might be to take subway to Uijeongbu (far) and then take a bus – shown in the map – from Uijeongbu at the very least you could hail a cab for the last 20 minutes of the ride.
Ah! I’m so sorry for the late response! Packing and moving and back in the states in a whirlwind! It was a bit tricky for us to find it actually because the bus stop isn’t marked, so we ended up going too far. But, the place where we ended up catching the bus for out return was right by the cafe. But yes, a bus from Uijeongbu is better than what we did (Wangsimni) because we had to go through the whole city, when Uijeongbu is just outside of it. It should take you right there, but be weary of rude bus drivers who don’t listen to you (as he didn’t with us!) Good luck!
Sooo the funniest thing happened to us, we got off the bus at the unmarked World Mart, we started walking (in the wrong direction of course) we stopped and asked a Korean man, which way to Deoulmase and he said we were going the right way..finally after 15 more minutes we stopped and asked another Korean couple, who in return asked a older korean couple and they pointed in the opposite direction, the older Korean couple offered us a ride lol..i wondered if it was the same couple that gave you all a ride as well, but they had no children 🙂 they even asked us how long we were going to be in the cafe and said they would come back and take us home! How sweet, we declined though. thanks for this article, we had a great time!!
Hahaha that’s hilarious! How long did you end up staying? We stayed so long! Totally a fab way to spend a random afternoon. Glad you had fun and a funny story to go with it! 😉