My twenties were freakin AWESOME, and everything they were supposed to be, according to every Buzzfeed post you’ve read in the last 5 minutes.

I started them in love with a spectacular guy, got far too intoxicated all too often at the so appropriately nicknamed University of Casual Sex and Beer, entertained a handful of delicious guys who’s names all started with the letter J, graduated college and immediately hopped a Eurail through Western Europe with my bestest friend, suffered a brief heart murmur for a hott Italian boy named Giuseppe while in Barcelona, worked my ass off in the industry that I always dreamt of being a part of, revisited the place where I became a woman atop Masada, and picked my life up to move to the place I only thought I never ever wanted to live, ever.

And well, since the last decade and everything that came before were so breathtakingly tremendous, I thought it only appropriate to send them out with the same bang that they came in with, only with less vomit and blue tongue.

So, without any further ado, here we have 30 bomb diggity things I did before turning the fab age of 30 this Monday!

1. Skydived out of a helicopter while attempting to shout “HOLY SHIT!!” over the Swiss Alps, in Interlaken, Switzerland.

2. Road tripped cross-country to spend Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Disgusting.

3. Grew my first grey hairs in my “Garden of Grey” while coordinating fancy events and GLAM SQUADS for Jenny from the Block.

4. Got LASEK and “restored” (if that even means they were ever perfect) my eyes to 20/20!

5. Got my degree and hit the road for a month through Western Europe with MayMay.

6. Went on Birthright, and big surprise, came back head-over-heels in intense L**E (?) with a sexy IDF soldier.

7. Went fishing for the first time in Phu Quoc, Vietnam and caught a school of my very own fish…that I later ate.

8. Was a bridesmaid for the first time in the wedding of 2 of my dearest high school friends.

9. Watched, with pure glee, as my favorite dance teacher tapped his face off as Mr. Braithwait in Billy Elliot on Broadway.

10. Took an authentic Thai cooking course in Chiang Mai.

11. Schaeff family roadtripped to Graceland, Mt. Rushmore, the White House and nearly all 50 US states in a 15 seater van.

12. Saw *NSYNC, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Madonna and The Rolling Stones (amongst others….) all live in concert. Teeny bopper fo lyfe.

13. Spent a Fab 4 New Year’s Eve on stage with Kanye West in Vegas, long before he was half of Kimye.

14. Made the overseas move to Korea and lived in my own apartment for the first time.

15. Swam with Spinner dolphins in the wild, off the coast of Oahu, Hawaii.

16. Had a great young love (and a big chunky camera!)

17. Took a bath with, and rode an elephant, through the Thailand jungle.

18. Gallivanted through Angkor Wat.

19. Got Bat Mitzvah’d atop Masada, while my family laughed beside me, and then I slathered my body in Dead Sea mud.

20. Laid with baby tigers, spooned a mama or papa tiger, and caught a couple tigers by their tails.

21. Got stuck in a typhoon in Osaka, Japan with nothing to do but karaoke Celine Dion and drink sake all night long!

22. Walked (quite scared) through the Red Light District and watched a live sex show in Amsterdam.

23. Let my knockers out as part of a Rocky Horror Picture Show shadow cast.

24. Saw Heath Ledger and Ben Affleck on Leno, James Franco on Conan, sat front row at Ellen and went to the Grammys! Shameless “I’m so LA” brag.

25. Witnessed an actual sea parting, with Moses, during Passover, while wearing a “Shalom” fanny pack, in the Jindo province of Korea.

26. Visited Dachau Concentration Camp in Germany (and took this severely awkward photo), and Anne Frank’s hiding place in Amsterdam, two WW2 places I’ve always wanted to see.

27. Taught myself how to make a few signature Koreans dishes. Here we have some kimchi jjigae.

28. Shot a Vietcong AK-47 in Saigon.

29. Learned to read and write Korean.

30. Started and MAINTAINED this here bloggy blog!

 

HELLLLLOOOOOO 30!!!