I had my first go at story time with my 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders in afterschool class last week, and it went quite swimmingly. The lessen consisted of reading them a story called “What is That? Said the Cat,” playing a game of flip cup where they had to read one sentence from the story, flip the cup and then read another sentence (minus the beer of course). This game proved a wee bit harder with the little ones. Mostly because they just couldn’t flip the darn cups with just the right amount of spring in their flip. Oh well. Last, they had to illustrate the story. I recorded each of them reading their sentences and then put it all together in this video for my morning broadcast today. Tell me these baby voices trying to speak English aren’t the cutest things you’ve ever heard!
Well, not really. But kinda. Somehow I was nominated to be the waygook spokesperson and was interviewed (and air kissed on camera) last weekend when I went on that DMZ bike tour with Seoulites.
No one will be able to read this article, but scroll down to watch my debut Korean television appearance around the 30 second mark, and scroll even further to see the sexy group of folks I rode with.
The caption under the photo of all of us reads like this, according to Google Translate: “Fighting foreigners who participated in the DMZ bike tour is taking pictures and shouting.” That’s exactly what we were doing.
Yesterday I went on a bike tour of the DMZ, aka the most heavily militarized border in the whole wide world. I’ve lived in Korea for a total of 7 months so far, and already have been to the border twice in the past 2 months. What’s wrong with me? Anyways, this was far different from the actual tour I went on with sista a couple months back.
This time about 16 of us made the 1.5ish hour trek to the border. Upon arrival we saw what I would definitely deem the happiest place on Earth. I think it might even give Disneyland a run for its money. That would be the amusement park just grazing the border between North and South Korea. Weird. There were like 2 people there.
Instead of paying $50 for the tour sista and I took, or $100 for the Panmunjom tour which grants you access into the Joint Security Area (where the North & South meet for discussions of sorts. This is the only place where you get the chance to step into North Korea), we paid 10,000 won (~$9) to rent a mountain bike with tracker, helmet and a neon green tank top so we wouldn’t get lost or wander into a land mine and go bye bye. As you can see, I dressed appropriately for a strenuous bike ride. Anything in the name of fashion.
Apparently this bike tour happens once a month. My Korean friends Keira and Jeewon organized it for a group of us to go, which was an awesome get-out-of-Seoul day. Though I must say, it was awfully strange to look to your left and see barbed wire lining the pot-holed road and having suited up soldiers directing you and watching your every move. Bizarre, but cool (?) way to see the border. The ride really got my juices flowing and I worked up quite a sweat. My ass is also killing me today. Since Obama was also walking on the same land as us, we couldn’t bike on a bridge that’s normally part of the tour. However, we were breathing the same air and looking at the same lack of scenery as Barack. Kinda cool.
Here are some more highlights:
Spring water, straight from the border. I am a fan of the barbed wire detailing.
Ze group of waygooks and our token Koreans who organized it ^^
Stretching as a group with 300 Koreans and our bikes. Shake out your hands.
Let me know when you receive this Schaeffs!
Most of us were zonked on the return.
All in all, yesterday was awesome. Twas a great group of people and a fun new thing to add to the list of Korean happs so far! And, I’m back in 1 piece with a new backpack that we received as a souvenir. Schaeffs, you better frame that postcard when it gets to the house as a souvenir from North Korea.
A few days early, BUT I couldn’t contain myself…….
28 years ago a curly headed biatch named Cori Alexandra Diamond was born. 22 years ago, in Mrs. Wilkins’ 1st grade class at Willow Elementary School, I was jealous of her florescent blue roller blades with the hot pink shoe laces. This is when I knew I wanted to be friends with this bitch. And just like that, through the years we’ve bonded over strawberry jacuzzis, someone named Sahubbahubba, our own made up holiday Honkamimi, first roller coaster rides, awful dances to Jay-Z songs, “Ilan es guapisimo,” first Britney Spears and *NSYNC concerts (fully equipped with bad hair and botched Latina makeup), record-breaking all day phone calls, weekly weekend brunch and flea market outings and jaunts across South East Asia just trying not to kill each other. It truly has been quite the exhausting 22 years, but I wouldn’t trade this friendship for 1 bagillion dollas.
SO, since I’m not there in person this year to celebrate her birth with her, I will use this blog space to make a timeline of our friendship through the years based off the photos I have access to on Facebook. There will of course be many years missing, but you can fill in the blanks with ridiculous whathaveyous. So, here you go Diamond. I hope you get just a teency bit embarrassed. After all, this is how I best show you my undying love and friendship. Cue love/hate relationship now.
Circa 1990. The year we met in Mrs. Wilkins’ 1st grade class. Cori’s in the center wearing the Willow sweatshirt, I’m in the back shielded by a hairpiece.
7th grade I think. My all-time favorite Cori photo. Take a bite outa crime. We had to go on Splash Mtn 2x because the photo didn’t take the 1st time and we needed documentation of her going on a “scary” ride.
7th grade again I think. Took a tumble at Disneyland.
Our parents’ biggest fears. US behind moving vehicles. Needless to say, we were both late-bloomers in the license- attainment department.
8th grade. Always the biggest laughers (and mouths) in the room 🙂
Uh oh. Thank god I’m 6,000 miles away from her.
Culminating 8th grade
This was the “Ilan es guapisimo” phase. Ah 9th grade Spanish and trying to be sexy with a baked potato.
Fresh out of college and ready to grab Hollywood by the balls.
God she was sexy this 26th birthday of her’s. I dubbed her “Floor Whore”…because she spent most of the night there.
27 and gorgeous dahhhling
After doing some time-steps in Supper Club
This is so US. Bidding me farewell for awhile 😦
Crying in her car after my going away party. My biggest cry baby.
Reunited in Thailand after 4 months to ring in 2012. A couple hours before this we wanted to kill each other. Aint no thang.
Ready to kill me…………. again?
But really, Diamond, I love you like you’re my sister. My dad always used to tell me to hold onto those close friends you knew while growing up, the ones you knew before life REALLY happened. Well, not many people can say they did that, or have someone they even still like from their childhood. I truly am one of the luckiest people to be able to call you my best friend in childhood and in adulthood. We’ve weaved in and out of each others lives through the years but always managed to come back to one another. We may bicker and say shitty things, but I can’t think of anyone (besides my own family) that I can be like that with and know that the love and friendship will always be unconditional without even thinking twice. You are the best and I hope you have the most amazing birthday ever! Cheers to a gagillion more years of ripping each others heads off, 6am text messages and being the loudest laughers in the room. I LOVE YOU!
My 7 month Korean anniversary was yesterday, so I celebrated at a waygook St. Patty’s Day Festival in Sindorim. All the kokos probably thought “wtf is with all the waygooks in green today?” It was lovely to be in an area with all foreigners (waygook ＝ foreigner), wonderful friends, face painting, a Korean U2 cover band (who were actually pretty good!), some Irish dancing and lots of day drinking.
There are lots of things I really really like about Korea, such as: everything is cute (EVERYTHING), THE BABIES, public transportation is wonderful, you can always find fried chicken (I never really ate fried chicken before moving here, and omg), best coffee shops ever, THE BABIES, being here is like a break from life and it’s amazing, buying near anything on the run is always so convenient (makeup, booze, a new outfit, whatevz), the shopping is OFF THE CHAIN, etc. Oh, and THE BABIES. Cutest babies in the world.
There are also many things that are starting to piss me off about Korea, such as: everyone always on their damn smart phones 24/7, walking like snails, men carrying women’s purses, not knowing what I’m eating half the time, no water at lunch (just salty soup), they eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner (I’m starting to get really sick of Korean food), the awful customer service, or lack thereof….and being PUSHED ALL THE TIME.
I really started realizing the things that have been wearing on me when returning “home” from my travels. I found myself getting constantly irritated by Korean things. Yesterday one thing really HIT me, literally. Someone hit me. As I was walking to my transfer in the subway, just walkin along, iPod in my ears, minding my own damn business like every other Korean, some old ajussi (old Korean man) walked head on towards me, jutted his arms out, and literally SHOVED me out of his way. Um, pardon, but I’m a walking, living human being. Get some spatial awareness and some manners PLEASE. I might not look like you, but I’m not an inanimate object you just shove out of your way. Ah, the Land of Push & Shove.
I wonder if CCTV caught that live in action. Probably.
But yea, 7 months have passed. Kinda cray cray. Despite the nagging things, I’m still loving it here, yo. I’m also a bit shocked I haven’t gotten supremely homesick like I thought I would. Maybe that’ll kick in soon.
I’m feeling a bit reflective today after failing at yet another Skype date with my MayMay and just missing my lovers back home….or rather in the States because practically no one lives at what I call HOME anymore. Sad face.
A year feels like such a long time, but I’ve come to realize shit flies by! A year ago last month I was “let go” from my jail sentence of a job that I thought I had really really wanted, filed for unemployment and was almost denied it by the prison warden, then high-tailed out of LALA with Brianne on a 2 week cross-country road trip to New Orleans for that disgusting, festive, boob-baring celebration called Mardi Gras, so we could both check that off our bucket lists and have an amazing excuse to belt out “Born This Way.” Leaving that job and going on that trip was probably the best transitional thing to ever happen to me. Some highlights of this journey included:
Falling off a seesaw and knocking the wind out of myself.
Rejuvenating a long-time friendship that had wanted reconnecting for a really long time.
Kissing a plastic frog beaded necklace and thinking I met a prince (who turned out to be a toad)….but I believe I met for a reason.
The reason being Korea. Had we not met, hit it off ridiculously well and then decided to go together on a whim, I really don’t know if I actually woulda grown the balls to pick up and move across the world 5 months later. Well that relationship crashed and burned, but the plans did not. We both made it to Korea but on our own devices.
He doesn’t play a part in my life these days (thank god), except for the random “I’m in Seoul” texts every now and then, but I am grateful for having met him. It’s not often you meet someone who you click with and find that you both want a lot of the same things out of life. That was a freakin year ago. Seems like it was just yesterday.
It’s also been a year since the first of my LA lovers picked up and became NYC transplants. Jeanette and Kayla (and then Sammy) moved almost a year ago, and this time last year we were “celebrating” their goodbyes 😦
I think I just really miss all you bitches back home and wish I could be better with time zones and realize the time we set Skype dates for, but I’m sorry for my epic fails. Erg.But more importantly, I was just thinking about how so much growth and change can happen in one year and how you don’t even really realize it til it’s happened. A year ago I decided to get serious about moving abroad for one year, and now I’m starting my second semester of school and getting ready to renew for another year. I’ve traveled far more than I thought I would in a year, met a lot of super interesting people, some annoying as fuck people, dated some ratards, and realized the difference between what I used to look for in a person and what I want now – the complete opposite and something much more.
That’s really it. I spent the morning Skyping with Sista and Presley (and my mom via speakerphone), found out Brotha had his head stapled last night after falling and drinking too much (but he’s ok, thank god), and looking at old videos of the Baller dancing which bring an eternal smile to my face.
Now I’m just sitting in a cute little cafe with a sleeping Mandu and his teddy bear beside me.
Also, a year later history repeated itself. I had another epic tumble. This time I was also completely 100% sober and just couldn’t master one-foot-in-front-of-the-other.
Friday was the first day of school and yesterday was the first official day of subject classes, and my first day teaching with my new co-teacher, who I will now call Hoon. He’s super nervous and I’m super nervous having to teach with him, mostly because he’s awkward and super nervous. Did I already say that? But he’s nice, so I guess that’s something. My classes are good, and I’m finding myself putting my foot down more which I guess is a good thing since it’s the start of the year. I’m leading these intro classes with him because he’s never done it before, so again, more pressure on me. But all went well so far. Luckily I am a chatter box so I talk enough for the both of us. We teach 3rd and 6th together so it should be interesting. It’s just frustrating when I have to tell him to translate something into Korean for them, especially the 3rd graders who are just beginning to learn the language. He’ll learn. I just keep telling myself, “think how you were 6 months ago and how Leni and Jin probably felt.”
I’m also a bit nervous because he is my head co-teacher now since Leni is no more 😦 Basically, he is my go-to for everything regarding life (apartment, school stuff, etc). I was originally told it would be Jin, which would make more sense, but nope, Hoon is. Today he accidentally told me 2nd period was cancelled and we didn’t have Leni’s 6th graders. He was wrong, and had to come running back to my class. Eeeep.
Last night the school went out for bbq and soju (obv) to welcome the 4 new teachers at my school. Hoon and another guy, who’s name I’m unsure of, but he helps the special ed kids, have started sitting with us at lunch and dinner because Hoon needs to hardcore work on his English. Hoon gets drunk and then starts talking more to me, so I guess that is the secret. But I have noticed that a lot more teachers are starting to come up to me and talk the little English they may know. Especially when they get some of that liquid courage in them. I was really excited to get to catch up with Leni at dinner last night and made her sit next to me. She sat down and after a few minutes looked over at Hoon at another table and was like “do you think I should switch with him?” I told her probably, but i don’t want her to. So she stayed and we played catch up. She was like “he’ll get drunk and then he’ll come over. That is good.” lol. I love her. She also told Jin that her hair grew a lot over vacation. She told me that according to Koreans, if your hair grows a lot very quickly it means you are thinking of sex before you go to bed, and very often. Once again, I LOVE HER.
The rest of the night was lovely. We all abruptly left from dinner, as is the usual with Koreans. I never know when we’re leaving until everyone stands up and puts their coats on. This part I thought was funny. We all start walking out and the principal starts putting his arm around Leni and then other random people telling them to come and walk to the bar we are supposedly going to. I didn’t feel like going because I wanted to go home and read the last book in the Hunger Games, Jin didn’t want to, another teacher Jiyeun didn’t want to and neither did Leni and a couple other girls. Instead, we all follow the men because they’re all too nice to say I just wanna go home. So we follow. And then proceed to stand out in the rain under our umbrellas for like 10 minutes while the others are all inside and they decide what we should do. I had no idea what they were saying so I’m just like doo-dee-doooo. Then I turn to Jin and ask her and she says “none of us want to go but don’t know if it’s nice. So we are not decisive.” This is also why I think Asians get the bad-driver rep. Slow and indecisive.
We ended up going in. They also gave me the menu to pick what we should order at the bar for food. I of course chose pizza. The pizza came, one had freakin honey on the side and the other was a saucy aight pizza. They all took pieces and put them in the bowls we were given and kinda picked at it. I of course had like 3 pieces. Leave it to the fatass waygook. I also inhaled the bowl of rice ring things that they put on the table with your drinks.My vice principal also pointed out to the whole table of teachers that I am older than Hoon. Everyone started giggling thinking they were probably trying to make a match out of us. Awkward!
One last thing that brightened my day yesterday. Leni had her class write who their favorite teacher has been so far at Nowon Elementary. She said many students wrote their last year homeroom teacher, but my little peach of a Jinho (on the left below) wrote that me and Jin are his favorite teachers. I knew I loved him for a reason 🙂
Today is the first day of school, and I wore my new vintage blue plaid blazer because you’re supposed to look your best on the first day of school, right? I also wore my new Koreanized spectacles which my amazing-not-anymore-co-teacher told me look very expensive. I’m fancy.
Since it’s the first day of school and I never wrote about winter camp or the end of the school year, I’m just gonna kill 2 birds with one stone.
Winter Camp came and went, thank god. 2 weeks for 3rd & 4th graders, 1 week of 5th & 6th grade little shits. We did Hollywood Week and it went fine. I think the highlight for me was teaching myself iMovie and making them these music videos which I showed on the final day…A Day at the Academy Awards. I taught them a song, they illustrated, I threw these together.
Weeks 1 & 2 / 3rd &4th graders: Hot ‘N Cold by Katy Perry. Taught them oppositessss.
Week 3 / 5th & 6th graders: Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus. Taught them about LA…and gerunds (-ing words).
Korea’s weird in that we had winter vacation end of December to beginning of February, then came back for a couple weeks, the 6th graders graduated (cue waterworks…and I did), and then we had spring break for a couple weeks and now we’re back a grade older.
I’m a bit nervous to be honest. My amazing co-teacher Leni is now a 6th grade homeroom teacher, so we won’t be teaching together anymore 😦 Jin and I will still be teaching together, thank god, and I have a new co-teacher, Mr. Jang, who I taught English camp with. I’m nervous about that because his Englishee is pretty bad and he giggles whenever I say hello to him…uh oh
This is our last lunch as a 3some because Leni now eats lunch with her students in her classroom. Sad face.
Thought I’d post some of the photos from the 6th grade graduation, because I freakin love those kids. I think I’m the only one who loved their 6th graders. I actually cried at their graduation. Who cries at a 6th grade graduation? A loser cries at a 6th grade graduation. If I’m like this watching kids I’ve known for 6 months graduate elementary school, I’m embarrassed for my own future children.
Billy on the right was my favorite 6th grade boy. He is so f’ing smart. and Jessi, on the desk (who spells his name like a girl) is a little rascal. Here they were writing their pen pal letters to Kendra’s class in LA!
Heartbreakers
I’m impressed that they’re not covering their faces!
Money & his lil bro Rainbow ❤
Zidane. Oh how I love him. So smart and slightly cocky, but with a little heart of gold.
Billy & Ben
Sweet lil thang was crying!
The lil peach on the right is Sally. My fave 6th grade girl 🙂
So yea, new school year has begun, the frigid cold has dissipated and spring is upon us. Ciao ciao winter coat! I will leave you with another disgusting thing that I have tried. This is that ugly ass fish I like to call the penis fish. To be politically correct, it’s actually called gaebul, but penis fish is more suiting. I tried it with Leni when the whole school went on an overnight trip to Gyewah about 3 hours out of Seoul. Wasn’t too bad, but won’t do it again. As you can see, I’m also a wiz with chopsticks. When in Korea!
I knew before heading out to Vietnam and Cambodia that this was going to be a very different trip than Thailand was. Thailand was all lighthearted and bomb diggity, but this trip was on a whole new level of amazingness, and was extremely educational. I’m the first one to say how unknowledgeable I am about most things concerning Asian history, so I was super excited for this trip. This trip had a major focus on life and death and everything in between, of course being in 2 3rd world countries and all. In addition, 2 of my best Asian princesses are part Vietnamese and Cambodian and I’ve heard stories here and there about the history or things that have happened to their parents/families, so I was really eager to experience their history first hand.
This was also overshadowed by some events that struck me from home. My first day in Phu Quoc I found out that the mom of one of my great friends from high school passed away after a very long battle with cancer. I really really loved her so much, and began thinking about the last time I saw her, and I think it was at a funeral for our friend’s younger brother who was killed in Afghanistan about 1.5 years ago. Before and after moving to Korea, she would Facebook message me just to say hi and give me recommendations when packing for the long haul. Sweet sweet lady that Iris Grant. Then, on my final night in Phnom Penh (which was already an emotionally draining city), I found out on Facebook that my ex-boyfriend, first love, whatever, welcomed his first baby boy. Crazy how life comes full circle like that.
ANYWAYS, moving on to the trip….
Katie and I flew out to Ho Chi Minh City (formerly known as Saigon) on February 15th, had a 3 hour layover in the Shanghai airport (AKA the worst airport in the world), then landed in HCMC at the crack of dawn on the 16th. After feeling creeped out in the alley outside the hostel Abby found for us all, we rang the bell and were welcomed in. The next morning we all packed up and headed out to the airport for our little jaunt to Phu Quoc, which is a small island off of Southern Vietnam in the Gulf of Thailand on your map. Well, for some this little getaway turned into a big hiccup. Our dear friend Matteu Pierre lost his passport somewhere in Saigon, therefore Katie stayed behind with him to sort it all out. While they freaked out, Abby and I flew off to what we would come to deem the Kingdom of Lesbia, with the boys, Mark, Gavin, Kenny and Scotty.
Phu Quoc is gorgeous and for the most part pretty remote and no one really speaks English. Basically it’s a lot of pointing to the item on the menu for what you want, big hand motions, and walking the person over to what you are trying to show them so they understand. But I can handle that for a couple days. Our first day there I got my first bowl of pho in Nam which SUCKED, and was cooked in a makeshift kitchen on the sand. It later started to pour rain, and after watching the “restauranteurs” poke holes in their thatched roof to prevent the water weight from collapsing their establishment, we made a mad dash and began dancing in the rain and singing Italian love songs. This is how we looked afterwards.
The next day Abby and I made a failed attempt at killing ourselves, meaning we lived, by trying to ride one of these:
After Abby had an anxiety attack, we traded these bad boys in for whimsical bicycles and frolicked around. Thank god we traded them in because that night while returning from the Duong Dong night market, it started raining and I don’t think I could hold onto my life on a motorbike, on a black as F road in the outbacks of Nam at night. You’re welcome life, and mom.
Our nights on Phu Quoc consisted of the boys coming to our resort to steal our aircon and drink their $1.50 bottle of Vietnamese Rum in our room while Abby and I laid in our beds in our PJs and Mark straightened his hair to look like an Eastern European grease ball. I’ll refrain from posting the video I took to maintain our friendship.
On my last day on the island, Abby and I booked a snorkeling/fishing half day trip which turned out to be absolutely amazing!! During the drive down to the South we stopped at a Pearl farm which was aight, but we got to see how pearls are farmed. We also got a chance to really see how the Vietnamese live. It’s really intense to see the shacks these people call home, and makes you appreciate everything that we are blessed with by just living in a 1st world country like American or Korea.
Onto the snorkelfishing! Turns out I’m a pretty good deep sea fisherwoman, and after being coached by one of the Lesbias on board I caught 3 fish! Here’s lucky numero uno! I think I named him Harold.
After fishing we were served a very delicious meal on board. It consisted of some type of Vietnamese/Thai fusion noodle, sauteed Morning Glory (long and green stuff that was bomb), some egg frittata type thing, white rice, potato and carrot soup, fried fish (later we were told it wasn’t the fish we caught), and a special surprise of sea urchin if we wanted to try, which I did. When in Rome! It actually turned out to be not so bad. They prepared it with onion and peanuts and soy sauce so I thought it was pretty tasty and kinda had a peanut buttery texture. That was an extra 20,000 dong more (~$1). Then we finally got to snorkel! And let me tell you, this was the most gorgeous snorkeling I have ever done, and I’ve snorkeled in a lot of beautiful places! We made 3 different stops and saw some of the most gorgeous corral and fish ever! One of the lesbias said she thought she saw something that looked like a Barricuda and kept telling herself to keep swimming lol. Abby has also never swam in the ocean like that before, due to her inability to tread water, so she was having a gay ‘ol time wandering off out in the open water in her florescent life jacket.
The next day I left Phu Quoc behind and flew back to Ho Chi Minh for a few days. Phu Quoc was beautiful and all, but I was so happy to be in a CITY with hustle bustle and historical sights to see. One thing is for sure, the hustle bustle is alive and kickin in HCMC. One finds that out instantly when crossing the street and seeing your whole life flash before you. The trick is to just walk slowly and the motorbikes with families of 5 on them will just go around you. I ended up enjoying this game of “trying not to get killed.”
On my first day there I met up with Katie, Matt and Kenny, who also ended up leaving the island early. Matt was still getting all his passport ish sorted, so he was a bit stressed but trying to have a good time. Katie and I ended up leaving the boys to go check out the War Remnants Museum, which was essentially a “We Hate America” museum. I don’t know why they allow us in the country after going there. Granted I’m not very knowledgeable on the Vietnam War, but from what I saw there we did some pretty nasty shit that is still affecting their people today physically and mentally. We drowned those horrid images in some shopping at Ben Thanh Market, the best coffee in the world and a bowl of delicious pho at the place there Clinton ate when he journeyed there. All better.
Abby arrived the next day and the 3 of us went to the Reunification Palace which was pretty boring actually. I almost stepped on a massive carpet which was poorly labeled. That was pretty much the only highlight. That night we met up with the boys to try and find a place where we could drink snake blood. This is apparently called a snake ceremony and is done all over Vietnam, but you wouldn’t think that given the looks of disgust we got whenever we asked a Vietnamese person. We found a place that did it, but it ended up being extremely expensive and none of us were down to pay $60 for taking the life out of a snake. I’ll just have to do it another time. Instead of a dinner of snake we got some Pho Hung which was bomb diggity and a nice trade off.
Our final day in Ho Chi Minh was my favorite I reckon. We got up early to go to the Cu Chi Tunnels, which were used by the Cu Chi Vietcong people during the war. The Cu Chi people live in the South, obviously, but fought for the Northern Vietcong. Shady Sheisters. So we took a tour about 2 hours outside of Ho Chi Minh, where we had the cutest tour guide named Slim Jim. Why you ask? Because he “eats like a bird, smokes like a chimney and drinks like a fish.” Once at the Cu Chi tunnels we got to see real life boobie traps, secret holes for hiding, crawl through the actual tunnels and shoot a gun! The 3 of us bought a round of 10 bullets and got our hardcore on with an AK47.
My first time shooting a gun!
They had to widen these tunnels to accommodate the fat westerners. The Cu Chi people crawled through these, where as I walked through hunched over with my butt slightly hitting the sides.
All in all, I enjoyed Nam, especially the pho and weasel poop coffee. Thank god I brought some coffee back with me because I ain’t getting THAT in koko. Next time I need to go visit the North, because I hear that’s where it’s at. Now onto Cambodia, which I absolutely fell.in.love.with.
The only things I didn’t like about Cambodia were my polka dotted legs from mosquito bites and the 13 hour bus ride that it took us to get there. This is how I looked on the bus ride because I couldn’t handle the heat, so the only thing to do was sleep, and bob. Compliments to Katie for this gem.
I LOVED Cambodia, but at the same time I just felt so awful seeing their quality of life, but I guess that is all they know so it’s just life for them. The people here were so warm and eager to help and talk to you and point you in the direction of what you should do next. Not to mention, the Cambodian people are freakin gorgeous. I think every man working at our hotel was attractive. Our first city was Siem Reap and we were staying at the same hotel as the boys this time. We got in pretty late after that bus ride from hell, so the 3 of us lassies indulged in some pool time, some vino and our first ever Cambodian dishes. Twas a lovely way to unwind and prep ourselves for Templing out the following day.
We were picked up by our sweet tuk tuk driver, Sovann (pronounced Sowan) at 9am the next morning and he had a list of temples on the agenda, all of which MayMay recommended to me 🙂 First we went to Angkor Wat, which is one of the Wonders of the World, and yes it is quite a wonder! It’s massive and beautiful and seemed never-ending in size. Inside there are several levels and smaller temples. We weren’t allowed up to the 3rd level though because we were too scantily clad. Good thing because we didn’t feel like waiting in the massive line anyways.
Outside before we entered
Next we went to Ta Prohm, or the Jungle temple. This temple was magnificent!! It had trees with the most insane roots growing out and over and on the sides of the structures. Some of the buildings had scafolding to preserve them from being crushed by the tree. Talk about a freakin miracle!
I think this tree looks like a dancing woman wearing bell bottoms 🙂
Next on the temple tour was Bayon Temple, or what I called the Faces temple. I love drawing faces and eyeballs, so you know I loved this one. There were literally faces everywhere!
Ajummas do Cambodia (old Korean women)
And the last of the day was a hike to the top of a temple/mountain to see the sunset. We actually thought we were going to see Angkor Wat at Sunset, but I think there was a bit of a mixup in communication. Nonetheless, it was really pretty from the top of the mountain, and tonssss of people were there. Including Juan (h-Juan as we like to pronounce it), the nice handsome man from Jersey we met in Blue Pumpkin outside of Angkor Wat. He gave me his bottle of deet to rid myself of the polka dotted leg syndrome and that towel shielding my sunburn from the sun.
That night we were so exhausted and completely templed out. Abby and I got massages at the hotel and then we just kinda vegged out for the night while the boys were out gettin’ all buck and ya know.
The next day we thought we were going to a floating market, but it turned out to be a floating village on the Tonle Sap River. We got our own boat and driver and were taken to a crocodile farm that was random, but cool to see, and a tiny little shopping area with nothing much aside from Pringles (our staple), coffee and some trinkets. After buying another can of Pringles we hopped back in the boat and were taken to another floating store. This was when it was dropped on us that we were going to an orphanage and we should buy something to give to the kids. Holy Jesus. This is what they meant by tourist trap. BUT, we ended up all chipping in $10 each and bought the kids a box of 25 packets of ramen and some notebooks for school. We were then taken to the orphanage where we got to meet the adorable freakin kids. Dear god Cambodian kids are ADORABLE. We gave our gifts to the teacher since we didn’t buy enough to hand out to every student, and then we just sat down and played with them.
One little girl named Jae came right up to me and sat down next to me. I swear she was a mini Wawa. She was so sweet and just kept wanting me to hug her and give her high fives. Before long kids were swarming around the 3 of us, and it was just one of those feel good 10-15 minutes of your life. I think it was a little difficult for Katie since she’s adopted, but it was cool to get to do that with her 🙂 Kids are just so damn cute anywhere you go. I swear I wanted to steal at least 5 babies a day, AT LEAST. When we left the orphanage Jae just stood in front of me and put her arms up for me to pick her up. Such a sweet heart. Now I know why Angelina keeps freakin adopting these kids.
Mini Wawa!
That night we actually went out in Siem Reap which was so much fun! I had tried to meet up with my friend Matt’s friend who lives there (sorry Matt, I know you’re reading 😉 but due to my shitty wifi we missed each other. Oh well!
The next morning we were off, yet again on another bus ride. This time to Phnom Penh, and it was only 6 hours. ONLY. At least the bus was better this time, but I swear it stopped every 15 minutes to let some Cambodian family off at their house or to wash their babies poopy pants in the river. GET ME THERE ALREADY!
Well, we got there. And as I had anticipated, I dropped my shit and RAN to find me a tuk tuk to get me to the Killing Fields. I only had less than a day in the Capital city of Phnom Penh and I wanted to make sure I saw the Killing Fields and S-21 (the Genocide Museum). Both closed at 5pm so I hit the ground running.
I went to the Killing Fields by myself that day, and this began the most emotionally exhausting day ever. I was getting annoyed with some people who kept saying “oh it’s just a field I don’t need to see it.” But really, it is a big deal. If you don’t want to see it because it’s morbid that’s understandable, but to say because it’s just a field is f’ing ignorant. I think I really liked Cambodia because you’re literally living in the people’s history, given that this genocide by the Khmer Rouge happened in the late 70s, so anyone around 30 years old or older either was alive for it or has a parent or relative or friend who was. So when people were saying oh it’s just a field, I kept thinking how if someone had said that about the Holocaust “oh it’s just a camp” I’d be infuriated, because it’s not “just a camp,” those were people’s lives. Sorry, rant.
Anyways, I got there and got my headset and was on my way. Right when you get in you see a giant building that is 17 stories high. In it are skulls, bones and clothes of people who were killed there. It’s their way of paying tribute to those who were lost.
As you walk along the audio tells you where different buildings stood and have anecdotal stories to go along with some of them. I won’t get into detail because it really was so sad, but as you’re walking past the mass graves and killing trees, there are remnants of clothes and bones that have washed up with rain that are just laying right at your feet. It was so eerie but also fascinating at the same time to be just walking in history. It was really something to think that this happened a little over 30 years ago right there.
Next I hopped back in my tuk tuk and was taken to S-21 where I met Katie and Abby. S-21 was originally a high school and a middle school and was later turned into a torture facility by the Khmer Rouge. This was ever creepier than the Killing Fields. You can walk right up to the metal beds that victims were strapped to and see blood stains that were barely washed away. You could walk into the brick cells and the wooden cells if you wanted to. I was too creeped out, so I just poked my head in one of the brick ones. The wooden ones I literally snapped a photo and ran. All throughout the museum they have photos of the victims. Ranging from infants to elderly people. There were a couple of photos that made me cry and it was just awful, but I’m glad I went to see it.
Pardon the sad note.
The rest of my last day was spent being girly. We got a delicious dinner, some massages and then just wandered and shopped for a bit.
On my flights home I was with Scotty, and after being in the Kuala Lumpur airport for 3.5 hours, us and another EPIKer Thyla, still managed to almost miss our flight, or rather almost accidentally boarded a plane to Perth, Australia….oops.
Vietnam and Cambodia were definitely 2 countries I didn’t even think about going to before I came to Korea, let alone 3 of the first I’d travel to! It was such an educational trip and I loved it so much!! Sorry to end it on such a downer note, but I mean, I knew that was gonna be a bulk of what we saw.
So, to liven your spirits, enjoy the fruits of my creeper labors.
I guess this is as official as it gets, aside from standing in front of and telling kids to shut up. I think this photo might be even more horrendous than my first drivers license when I was 17. This is how the 6th graders will remember me for all eternity. With frizzed hair and fat face.
That’s Danielle Teacher to you.
Jin to my right, and Leni the row in front of me on my right. And Mr. Principal next to my Vice Principal that I accidentally cut off. I think he looks like Mr. Miyamoto, my 5th grade teacher.
seoul | tapperilla 