A few days early, BUT I couldn’t contain myself…….

28 years ago a curly headed biatch named Cori Alexandra Diamond was born. 22 years ago, in Mrs. Wilkins’ 1st grade class at Willow Elementary School, I was jealous of her florescent blue roller blades with the hot pink shoe laces. This is when I knew I wanted to be friends with this bitch. And just like that, through the years we’ve bonded over strawberry jacuzzis, someone named Sahubbahubba, our own made up holiday Honkamimi, first roller coaster rides, awful dances to Jay-Z songs, “Ilan es guapisimo,” first Britney Spears and *NSYNC concerts (fully equipped with bad hair and botched Latina makeup), record-breaking all day phone calls, weekly weekend brunch and flea market outings and jaunts across South East Asia just trying not to kill each other.  It truly has been quite the exhausting 22 years, but I wouldn’t trade this friendship for 1 bagillion dollas.

SO, since I’m not there in person this year to celebrate her birth with her, I will use this blog space to make a timeline of our friendship through the years based off the photos I have access to on Facebook. There will of course be many years missing, but you can fill in the blanks with ridiculous whathaveyous.  So, here you go Diamond.  I hope you get just a teency bit embarrassed. After all, this is how I best show you my undying love and friendship.  Cue love/hate relationship now.

Circa 1990.  The year we met in Mrs. Wilkins’ 1st grade class. Cori’s in the center wearing the Willow sweatshirt, I’m in the back shielded by a hairpiece.

7th grade I think. My all-time favorite Cori photo. Take a bite outa crime. We had to go on Splash Mtn 2x because the photo didn’t take the 1st time and we needed documentation of her going on a “scary” ride.

7th grade again I think. Took a tumble at Disneyland.

Our parents’ biggest fears. US behind moving vehicles. Needless to say, we were both late-bloomers in the license- attainment department.

8th grade. Always the biggest laughers (and mouths) in the room 🙂

Uh oh. Thank god I’m 6,000 miles away from her.

Culminating 8th grade

This was the “Ilan es guapisimo” phase. Ah 9th grade Spanish and trying to be sexy with a baked potato.

Fresh out of college and ready to grab Hollywood by the balls.

God she was sexy this 26th birthday of her’s. I dubbed her “Floor Whore”…because she spent most of the night there.

27 and gorgeous dahhhling

After doing some time-steps in Supper Club

This is so US.  Bidding me farewell for awhile 😦

Crying in her car after my going away party. My biggest cry baby.

Reunited in Thailand after 4 months to ring in 2012.  A couple hours before this we wanted to kill each other. Aint no thang.

Ready to kill me…………. again?

But really, Diamond, I love you like you’re my sister. My dad always used to tell me to hold onto those close friends you knew while growing up, the ones you knew before life REALLY happened.  Well, not many people can say they did that, or have someone they even still like from their childhood.  I truly am one of the luckiest people to be able to call you my best friend in childhood and in adulthood.  We’ve weaved in and out of each others lives through the years but always managed to come back to one another.  We may bicker and say shitty things, but I can’t think of anyone (besides my own family) that I can be like that with and know that the love and friendship will always be unconditional without even thinking twice.  You are the best and I hope you have the most amazing birthday ever!  Cheers to a gagillion more years of ripping each others heads off, 6am text messages and being the loudest laughers in the room.  I LOVE YOU!