I know this is a bit tardy, but I’ve been out of the country so I couldn’t inform you of this rage over in the East, but I still wanted to, so I’m doing it now. This video is insane. When Brianne and I were in Boracay it came on in one of the clubs we were in and everyone lost their SHIT. She later asked me what it was….well, now here you go, m’lady. I don’t really know why this song is everywhere, aside from that it’s KPOP and it’s awesomely awkward and entertaining.
In case you’re wondering, Gangnam is the really richy, fancy, well-to-do part of Seoul just south of the river where lots of plastic surgery happens, and “oppa” is what the Korean girls like to call older (young) men. Usually using a very high pitched “cute” voice.
Enjoy the sexiness…
In other news, Philippines post to come soon-ish, and I think I will begin a “Photo-a-Day” portion of this blog starting when my 2nd contract begins next week 🙂
I would like to start by emphasizing that Korea has the worst, most disgusting weather I have ever experienced, especially in the summer! Right now is monsoon season, so while it’s 150% muggy and you’re wet and sticky the second you open the door to walk out of your previously air-conned room, it’s also most likely pouring buckets outside and the mosquitoes are flying around at a rapid pace looking for the next patch of skin to suck blood from. They have decided to make me their #1 victim and I am about ready to claw all of my skin off!!!!!
Last weekend after Mud Fest I counted 30+ bug bites on my legs and arms. Then on Tuesday I went out to the suburbs of Seoul with school and we walked up to a stream then had an over-extended dinner above said stream. I WAS DYING and got bit probably 30 more times in a 3 hour time span. I wanted to run screaming and get on that damn bus so damn bad. But no. We sat sat sat, they drank drank drank, I was bored bored bored. Not only was the language barrier very prevalent that evening, I was annoyed and getting bitten, while all the Koreans seemed to remain untouched and just kept getting drunker and drunker. I read online that apparently the mosquitoes think foreign blood is a delicacy. UGH.
This is my left inner thigh at the moment. I look like I have some skin-eating disease, but I am merely bruising myself because I can’t stop scratching. These Korean mosquitoes are unlike any others I’ve encountered. They are a million times worse than they are in SE Asia. They make the polka-dotted legs that I acquired in Vietnam and Cambodia look like little pricks. While those were huge, these ones are like little over-sized underground pimple demons that ooze the worst itches of life. I can’t stop scratching til they bleed, and hydrocortisone and bug spray are NOT working. I even tried rubbing dry soap on them, and will try toothpaste tonight. Nothing has soothed the itch yet. UGH UGH UGH. Anyways, I just wanted to bitch and moan and show you how disgusting my leg is. Enjoy because I’m sure as hell NOT.
As of yesterday, I’ve been living in Korea for 11 months. It’s crazy to think that a year has come and gone in the blink of an eye. I’ve met so many people over here. Some amazing homies I will for sure remain friends with forever, some a little too ‘off’ for my liking and who I will be glad to see bounce. Real talk, yo!
So, the past 2 weekends have consisted of a couple so-long-farewell-i-bid-to-say-adieus. No tears have been shed yet, but I’ve definitely told a select few to lock up their excitement when they talk about leaving Korea and all the things they will do when they’re back stateside for good.
2 weekends ago was the over-the-top black-tie-mandatory EPIK Farewell Party (or as I like to call it, Prom 10 years later) at the swanky Banyan Tree Resort. Despite the annoying hype, it ended up being a fun night and twas lovely to see people all gussied up. Here’s a few of my fave shots from Prom.
US President Hord & his First lady on the right, Korean President Kwon Jee Won and her bodyguard/man toy on the left. Nations uniting.
Standard shot of me & a slew of sexy AZNs.
Game face time with Mr. Monette.
Making flirty eyes with my Benji Boo Boo Bear.
Dancing with my favorite Jordanian prince. Once again, uniting nations.
And what would a black tie event (or any event) be without me & boo sexing up the camera?
And last, just because Tony is making the most horrendous face in the universe.
THEN, this past weekend we dressed down for the most amazing weekend I’ve had in the past 11 months! Around 15 of us hopped on a bus and took it 2.5 hours out of Seoul to the Boryeong Mud Festival. It was like going back to college for a weekend, and it was nothing short of awesome. Twas such a great way to begin wrapping up the best year of my life so far with some wonderful people. I don’t really think there’s a significance of the festival, but it lasts for 10 days, and it’s mostly foreigners with a smattering of Koreans who think it’s appropriate to bring their sheltered children to a festival of naked, drunk waygooks.
When we were clean and excited to go get dirrrrrrrrrrty.
Last minute temple sculpting.
Dawning my (and Polio’s) best ajumma wear: leopard ajumma jellies and his pink visor.
Cue madness.
Polio threw us all in the pit. Then got the pit closed down with his actions. Oops.
Superman that hoe.
Later that night outside our pension. “Is that 4names?” Nope…some random.
Fireworks to begin the festival!
Nothin like some good clean (and dirrrrty) fun to wind down a bombass year living on this tiny peninsula in the far far East.
Last, last weekend was the big guy’s birthday, and by big guy I mean Buddha, duh, I live in the far east now. What his birthday meant to us waygooks was a 3 day weekend and another opportunity to get the hell out of Seoul, so off to the beach we went! That group of us lookers above bought some bus tickets and went to Gangneung beach in the eastern province of Gangwon-do. This is supposed to be one of the most beautiful beaches in Korea, and it was wondrous!
I convinced my co-teacher/basically friend, Jin, to come and get out of the city with us and meet some fun waygooks. I was so happy when she came in on Friday morning and told me she bought her bus ticket. She was super nervous and scared that her brain would hurt after a weekend of only English, but was totes in for a bomb ass weekend. I think this was probs the perfect group of people for her first truly foreigner filled hang sesh. And it was. She said it was her favorite weekend ever 🙂 Mission accomplished. Here she is playing a brutal game of Ring of Fire aka Kings.
We booked 2 nights stay at a very classy pension called Fantasia. In case you were wondering, all of our fantasies were fulfilled here. A pension is basically a big empty room and they give you blankets, pillows and mats and you all snuggle together on the heated ondol floor (fun minus the heat permeating your body when it’s already a million degrees outside). They also provide you with a delicious array of body sprays, lotions, toothbrushes and everything you will need to beautify yourself after a roll in the hay with your nearest and dearest. Err.
Here are two lovebirds getting our bedding dirty.
The rest of the weekend consisted of adult chicken fights:
Sumo wrestling, fully equipped with Gavina, our sexy ring girl:
Manly workout seshs in the sand:
An assload of sunbathing:
Strumming some ukulele tunes:
We also made (well, Jeewon the boy scout) a couple bonfires that went into the wee hours:
Watched our male friends try to desperately pick up chicks and fail miserably:
We even crashed a fancy Korean night club (where men and women specifically go to be set up with each other). Needless to say, our rambunctiousness and stage hogging was well out of the ordinary for their nightly patrons. Jeremy even gave them a beautiful ballet show. It was a treat to all the senses.
Overall, I’d say the weekend was a success, and by success I mean I was successful in breaking my first bone in 28 years. If it wasn’t for a frisbee game of Tips, Jeremy yelling “DIVE JEW!” and my baby pinky toe colliding on the dive with Jeewon’s ankle of steel, I wouldn’t be hobbling right now. All in a weekend’s fun I suppose. Here’s a picture of me in my cast after being forced into it. It has since been ripped off against doctor’s orders, and toes taped instead of this overcompensating sweat machine. In 3 weeks time I will be good as new. I hope.
Laugh all you want. I look sexy. Cheers to you, Buddha Babe!
I just had my 9 month Korean anniversary last Thursday, May 17th. Holy shit! In the 9 months that I could have been with child, I have had 5 visitors, 4 of which hail from the Orient. Damn I’m popular, especially amongst the Eastern folk. The last most amazing friend in the world to trek their ass across the world for me with a bag full of cheese and other American delicacies was my lil WAWA!!! Her 10 day visit definitely warrants a posting.
I was so freakin excited to see Wawa! I haven’t seen her since I think my birthday last year (I think), but of course we have kept up to speed on all the juicy gossip that’s gone on in our lives in between. But, I was especially excited for 10 days of good old fashion girl talk, rehashing past relationships, current whatevers, what went wrong and adding further insight to the past, that we’ve since gained in our old age. Oh, and play tour guide of this country that is now my home away from home. I was a little nervous to play tour guide because the pressure’s on, but it was probably the closest to relaxing yet jam-packed trip possible. Twas awesome.
Wawa and about 10 pounds of candy came to school with me 2 days of the week, so she helped teach and squeeze the cheeks of my 3rd and 4th graders with me and Jin. My classroom is also on the 6th grade floor, and since she didn’t come to class on days I taught them or 5th graders, they could only get candy if they asked Wanda a question. Most of them asked the same shit, “What’s your name?” “How old are you?” “Where are you from?” and just dug their dirty hands into the bag of candy, but then they had to actually ask her good questions. Especially the smart ones. I made them. Some were actually good “Who’s your favorite Hollywood star?” and of course “Do you have a boyfriend? No? Why not?” Our favorite question EVER. Both days that she was here this is what it looked like just outside my classroom. I had to play zookeeper to a bunch of candy crack babies a couple times. That was fun.
Wawa is also no longer “solo.” I knew she’d come to Korea and find a boyfriend ASAP. This is her and her new boyfriend Julian. They even dress like a kouple.
Our absolute most favorite day of her trip was our “Day of Culture.” That day we went shopping in Insadong where we got down to tradition and cried of laughter as we posed in Hanbok. We went to Gyeongbokgung Palace and got a taste of celebrity when some middle schoolers asked to have their picture taken with us, saw the King Sajong statue, ate some bomb tofu and pajeon (Korean seafood “pizza”), drank tea at a lovely little tea house, and went shopping for a fish and live octopus to eat at the Noryangjin fish market. I ate live octopus for my 2nd time. Jesus.
Here’s a video of us eating that octopus.
We also had some very ladylike evenings. We caught a jazz show at my favorite location in Seoul, Jazz Story, in Hyehwa, and had a night of vagina at Vato’s Tacos followed by some vagina pops at a Vagina Monologues show.
We went to Gangnam and did what you do in Gangnam. Take glamour shots and hang out with very sophisticated men.
We also hiked, or rather walked 50 million flights of stairs, up to Namsan Tower to lock up our love (next to mine and sista’s) to forever overlook the smoggy sky of Seoul, and found our first epic Geocache.
All in all, it was soooo much fun having my lil Wa here! I’m so happy she came and it’s always nice to have visitors because it gives me a chance to feel like a tourist once again 🙂 Here are a couple other highlights of her trip.
Our new Vietnamese family.
Eating fried potatoes with some new male suitors.
Eating a hot dog wrapped in a pancake.
Swapping manicure secrets.
Shopping with ajummas, her new favorite breed of people.
Schaeff Schaeff loves you WaWa! Now come back soon! Mwah!
When I was a wee lass, every Passover Papa Schaeff rented The Ten Commandments with Charleton Heston as Moses. I looked forward to eating matzah ball soup and latkes from Agoura Deli and watching it every year like a huge nerd, but whatever. I loved it.
SO, imagine the thoughts bolting through my head when I knew I could have my very own chance of seeing a real life sea part before my very eyes…AND ON PASSOVER nonetheless! MIND BLOWN. This is how my little Jewish girl dream of seeing a sea part came true (even if it didn’t look the way Hollywood in the 1960s depicted it).
This past weekend I went down to Jindo in the very south of Korea for a sea parting festival that happens twice a year for about an hour, and goes hand in hand with its own Moses story.
A Jindo village was attacked by tigers and all the villagers ran to Modo island for shelter. All, except for a helpless old woman who was left behind, out of despair she prayed to the Sea God, who split the sea and helped her escape the blood thirsty animals.
I read about it before coming and had it on my list of must-dos, but didn’t realize it was this weekend til my friend Jeremy said he wanted to go. Of course my little Jew girl excitement hijacked the trip and we made plans and went down therrrrr together with his overactive bladder and a couple other homies. It was an organized tour led by this guy who takes people on hiking trips all over South Korea, so everything was set up as best as this one little man was capable of.
The bus ride down there started at 7:20am and took about 7 hours, AKA lots of sleep time / now needing an elbow in my neck and shoulders. We got down there probably around 3pm, checked into our pension where we made the wise decision to migrate from the room we initially chose with a bunch of loud-mouthed, underpants-only-wearing people to another room with some Texans and a British lass, and of course our token saucy ginger 4names.
We suited up in these sexy florescent orange fisherman boots to our thighs and made our way to the parting sea en route to the promised land of milk & honey…. in Korea. There we saw ajummas digging for dinner and all their spawn assisting. We didn’t see as much sea life and pretty seashells as we thought we would (except for the smiling starfish), but it was still a trip to see water on either side of you, and then watch the tides come in later when we were walking back. To celebrate before being washed away, we drank some makkoli in the center of the sea and paid our respects to Moses. It was pretty cool, and quite the Passover miracle if I ever knew one! Don’t think a Jew has literally spent Passover at a parting sea since like, Moses led us out of Egypt. Ch ch check it outskies……
My attempt at finding a walking stick to be truly authentic. Fail.
History is all wrong. We escaped Korea, not Egypt!
Makkoli in the sea.
Jeremy, moi and Heather with the lady, the tiger and some delicious celebratory makkoli.
We also stopped off to see a Jindo dog show and pet some of the gorgeous pups, which are considered a national treasure of Korea. They are ADORABLE and I wanted to steal all of them.
Aaaaand Spring has hit the South! We went on a lil hike but mostly basked in the gorgeous sun, on a rock, beside the sea for a few hours. Twas heavenly, and I got some of my sun-kissed glow back. I think this fool got burnt tho.
All in all, I think I’ve begun satisfying my get-out-of-Seoul-and-explore-Korea-now goal quite swimmingly.
I had my first go at story time with my 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders in afterschool class last week, and it went quite swimmingly. The lessen consisted of reading them a story called “What is That? Said the Cat,” playing a game of flip cup where they had to read one sentence from the story, flip the cup and then read another sentence (minus the beer of course). This game proved a wee bit harder with the little ones. Mostly because they just couldn’t flip the darn cups with just the right amount of spring in their flip. Oh well. Last, they had to illustrate the story. I recorded each of them reading their sentences and then put it all together in this video for my morning broadcast today. Tell me these baby voices trying to speak English aren’t the cutest things you’ve ever heard!
Well, not really. But kinda. Somehow I was nominated to be the waygook spokesperson and was interviewed (and air kissed on camera) last weekend when I went on that DMZ bike tour with Seoulites.
No one will be able to read this article, but scroll down to watch my debut Korean television appearance around the 30 second mark, and scroll even further to see the sexy group of folks I rode with.
The caption under the photo of all of us reads like this, according to Google Translate: “Fighting foreigners who participated in the DMZ bike tour is taking pictures and shouting.” That’s exactly what we were doing.
Yesterday I went on a bike tour of the DMZ, aka the most heavily militarized border in the whole wide world. I’ve lived in Korea for a total of 7 months so far, and already have been to the border twice in the past 2 months. What’s wrong with me? Anyways, this was far different from the actual tour I went on with sista a couple months back.
This time about 16 of us made the 1.5ish hour trek to the border. Upon arrival we saw what I would definitely deem the happiest place on Earth. I think it might even give Disneyland a run for its money. That would be the amusement park just grazing the border between North and South Korea. Weird. There were like 2 people there.
Instead of paying $50 for the tour sista and I took, or $100 for the Panmunjom tour which grants you access into the Joint Security Area (where the North & South meet for discussions of sorts. This is the only place where you get the chance to step into North Korea), we paid 10,000 won (~$9) to rent a mountain bike with tracker, helmet and a neon green tank top so we wouldn’t get lost or wander into a land mine and go bye bye. As you can see, I dressed appropriately for a strenuous bike ride. Anything in the name of fashion.
Apparently this bike tour happens once a month. My Korean friends Keira and Jeewon organized it for a group of us to go, which was an awesome get-out-of-Seoul day. Though I must say, it was awfully strange to look to your left and see barbed wire lining the pot-holed road and having suited up soldiers directing you and watching your every move. Bizarre, but cool (?) way to see the border. The ride really got my juices flowing and I worked up quite a sweat. My ass is also killing me today. Since Obama was also walking on the same land as us, we couldn’t bike on a bridge that’s normally part of the tour. However, we were breathing the same air and looking at the same lack of scenery as Barack. Kinda cool.
Here are some more highlights:
Spring water, straight from the border. I am a fan of the barbed wire detailing.
Ze group of waygooks and our token Koreans who organized it ^^
Stretching as a group with 300 Koreans and our bikes. Shake out your hands.
Let me know when you receive this Schaeffs!
Most of us were zonked on the return.
All in all, yesterday was awesome. Twas a great group of people and a fun new thing to add to the list of Korean happs so far! And, I’m back in 1 piece with a new backpack that we received as a souvenir. Schaeffs, you better frame that postcard when it gets to the house as a souvenir from North Korea.
My 7 month Korean anniversary was yesterday, so I celebrated at a waygook St. Patty’s Day Festival in Sindorim. All the kokos probably thought “wtf is with all the waygooks in green today?” It was lovely to be in an area with all foreigners (waygook ＝ foreigner), wonderful friends, face painting, a Korean U2 cover band (who were actually pretty good!), some Irish dancing and lots of day drinking.
There are lots of things I really really like about Korea, such as: everything is cute (EVERYTHING), THE BABIES, public transportation is wonderful, you can always find fried chicken (I never really ate fried chicken before moving here, and omg), best coffee shops ever, THE BABIES, being here is like a break from life and it’s amazing, buying near anything on the run is always so convenient (makeup, booze, a new outfit, whatevz), the shopping is OFF THE CHAIN, etc. Oh, and THE BABIES. Cutest babies in the world.
There are also many things that are starting to piss me off about Korea, such as: everyone always on their damn smart phones 24/7, walking like snails, men carrying women’s purses, not knowing what I’m eating half the time, no water at lunch (just salty soup), they eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner (I’m starting to get really sick of Korean food), the awful customer service, or lack thereof….and being PUSHED ALL THE TIME.
I really started realizing the things that have been wearing on me when returning “home” from my travels. I found myself getting constantly irritated by Korean things. Yesterday one thing really HIT me, literally. Someone hit me. As I was walking to my transfer in the subway, just walkin along, iPod in my ears, minding my own damn business like every other Korean, some old ajussi (old Korean man) walked head on towards me, jutted his arms out, and literally SHOVED me out of his way. Um, pardon, but I’m a walking, living human being. Get some spatial awareness and some manners PLEASE. I might not look like you, but I’m not an inanimate object you just shove out of your way. Ah, the Land of Push & Shove.
I wonder if CCTV caught that live in action. Probably.
But yea, 7 months have passed. Kinda cray cray. Despite the nagging things, I’m still loving it here, yo. I’m also a bit shocked I haven’t gotten supremely homesick like I thought I would. Maybe that’ll kick in soon.
seoul | tapperilla 