#tbt The Night We Repped The LBC

For this #tbt (read: #throwbackthursday, read: flashback to days past), I’m going to visually recount when Joshy, Jee, Veny and I took our ghetto a$$e$ to see Snoop in Seoul, because, well, I realized I never repped him on the blog, and because it was super fun and it also wasn’t an epic bomb of a show like that time Collin and I thought we saw Gaga cover Gaga.

I realize this was pretty much almost a year ago next month, thus making it the perfect specimen for a flashy flashback.

We all got really super excited when we knew Snoop was coming.  There was the minor wonderment of how the man was going to enter the country under the influence, because you know he has to be, and there was no way he wasn’t going to be without it, but Korea is a druggless country. There was also the brief discussion of how we ourselves were going to get “lit”.

Joshua and I seriously looked up directions for how to smoke banana peels like a coupla hippies, but that turned up preposterous results, and work that proved to be far too extensive for an outcome that would not warrant our backbreaking labor over my measly toaster oven.

Guess we would just have to sip on dat gin (soju) n’ juice the old fashioned way while we got to work on our hand-crafted Olde English LBC represent costumerie. We kept in true Rastafarian color scheme to go along with his Snoop Lion-ness.

I would personally like to thank Itaewon’s skeezy scene for being a magical garden of glorious ghetto herb jewels!  Thank you for bedazzling our bosoms!

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After Snoopifying ourselves. Purple drank and a fat one.

Moving outdoors to some bars to get all hood and shit.

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Bad bitchez.

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Is this guy the biggest thug you ever did see or what? Livin dat THUGLYFE.

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The show was at Olympic Park Stadium, and once we got in, it felt so lax compared to concerts back home. I’m used to hardcore security at Staples Center where you cannot walk an inch without someone checking your ticket, but once we were inside, we were able to run down and we were on a lower platform just dancing and singing (screaming, let’s be honest, I lost my voice) the whole night with a slew of other people. It was bomb diggity.

We also made bets about what time and what song he was going to start with, and guess who was the lucky ducky?! That’d be moi! He kicked it off as Snoop Lion with his then-new “La La La” and after that he was Snoop Dogg for the rest of the show.

Everyone owed me a cocktail that I really did not need at that point in my life.

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In keeping with the theme of the evening, and because we wanted to try and stalk him and sneak into the after party with him and 2NE1, we went to every super gangsta bar in Itaewon. We ended up spending the bulk of our evening in Club Zion, which I deem the island bar because I like to imagine that’s what it’d feel like if you were on some sweaty island somewhere. I met a bald man named Herbert, and I will not be returning there again!

And no, we did not meet or get into any Snoop Doggy Dogg parties. But I know where to find all the Tanzanians if you’re looking.

All in all, it was an excellent show and we had SO much fun!

Always remember, WEST COAST IS THE BEST COAST!

A Pupu Platter Of 2012 Whathaveyous

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

Wow, another year has come and gone, and I must say, 2012 was my favorite year of my almost-29 years gracing this planet.  So much that I had always dreamt of in years past same to fruition this year, and I can honestly say I am in the best place I have ever been in my life.  And it feels damn good 😉

I had made the resolution in 2011 that by the end of the year I would be living a life abroad ~ check.  In 2012 I promised myself I would do absolutely as much traveling of Asia as possible.  I came to Korea to conquer this continent like a blaze of fire, and in looking back I can say I did just that.  Along with the travel resolutions, I really put my best foot forward to work on getting what I really want, and making that start from within.  I try my best to communicate what I want, but a lot of time it fails when walls get put up, or life just gets in the way.  So, I’ve really tried to be as self-aware as possible just be the best version of myself and hope that it brings with it what I truly want.  That being said, 2012 has definitely been the happiest and most honest year to date 🙂

Now I’m just gonna throw together a few highlights from each month of 2012. Badabing herrrrrr goes!

I began the year on the beach in Koh Phangan, covered in florescent body paint and drinking liquor by the buckets with one of my dearest and oldest friends on the planet ~ my fave biatch and sista from anotha mista, Miz Diamond ❤

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January marked my first birthday to be celebrated away from everyone I’ve always shared my (obviously) favorite holiday with.  I felt a little down about it, then in flew a gift from THE BEST sista ever ~ Sista Schaeff in the flesh, in Korea!

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On her last night here, she snuggled my foot to sleep.  BY CHOICE! ❤

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In February I visited two of my favorite countries so far ~ Vietnam and Cambodia. I saw some of the most beautiful snorkeling waters, caught my first fish, shot my first gun, ate a bowl of pho a day, wondered why they allow Americans in, and saw my life flash before me about 1million times while in ‘Nam.

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In Cambodia I visited the most breathtaking temples I have ever seen, spent an afternoon with beautiful children in an orphanage on the river, saw insurmountable beauties in some of the deepest poverty stricken eyes, and struggled to hold back tears while walking through a living history at the Killing Fields and S-21 genocide museum remnants from the Khmer Rouge of the 70s~80s.

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In March I visited the happiest place on earth, AKA the DMZ, for the second time.  This time we rode bikes along the most intensely guarded border in the world, all while Obama paid the peninsula a visit and peered over to the North with us.

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April means Passover, which also means the sea parts in Korea.  I made the trek down south with a homie and we met Moses, crossed the parted sea and drank makkoli while doing so, obvi.

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Later in April, my favorite story to date came to be.  A couple morons went to a Lady GaGa concert.  They got all gussied up in the hottest of pink and the tightest of attire, only to miss the whole thing whilst trying to attain the most coveted seats in the house during the “GaGa cover band”…. *face palm* At least we looked sexy.

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In May, Wawa came for a visit.  We did many things, but by far our favorite day was our “Day of Culture.”  We visited Gyeongbukgong Palace, learned about the creation of Hangul (the Korean alphabet), ate a traditional lunch, drank tea in a lovely tea house, dressed up and cracked up in Hanbok (traditional Korean dress), and wrapped up with a journey to the Noryangjin Fish Market.  Twas a wondrous day!

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Then came June, and Buddha’s birthday.  A crew of us high-tailed out of Seoul to Gangneung, a little beach town on the East Sea. There were makkoli and soju spurred chicken fights, sexy man-wrestles, toasty bonfires, crashing of high class fancy Korean booking clubs and frisbee games resulting in broken pinky toes and racial slurs. The Buddhaman had an awesome birthday!!

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Then came July and two events which could be classified as the greatest events of the century. One more than the other, but one got more hype than the other according to the Facebook.  You can use your own judgement on that one.  One required us to dress to the nines to bid adieu to all the homies we grew to call family, and also the ones we grew apart from because a lot of people that came with us were weirdos, let’s face it. The other required some prior temple-sculpting, lots and lots and lots of soju, mudmudmud and practically no clothes. Mud Fest was by far my favorite event of 2012.  Shit was CRAY TO THE MAX!

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August was the most bittersweet month of the year I’d say.  It was sweet because I took a 2.5 week summer jaunt on over to the Philippines with my lovely lass from home, Brianne.  We saw some of the most picturesque islands, snorkeled and ate our faces off, hiked miles in our little warrior Havaianas, posed with stalagtites, missed the whale sharks, got in a fist fight with a very mean typhoon, and let tempers fly with shitty budget airlines.

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August was bitter because our contracts ended and some left KoKo and I had to face the harsh reality that the world as I knew it was shattering before me.  Well, that’s an over-dramatization, but that’s how it felt at the time dammit. I also got thrown into my deathbed by some plague I contracted in the Philippines.   So, not only were my friends leaving, but I was deathly ill and partying with an IV in the hospital, unable to hand out proper goodbye hugs. NOT COOL WORLD.

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Then on rolled September.  Grabbing my bearings on who was still left in my Seoul-cial circle happened naturally.  I got back in the go-out mode (at least for the time being), and some friendships from the previous year had the chance to blossom.  Late in the month for Chuseok holiday, a group of us gals decided to pop off to Osaka and Kyoto, Japan with boy toy Joshy. We frolicked by bicycle all over Kyoto, made the most of the typhoon stricken city by stuffing our faces with enough sushi and sake to fuel an army, and tore up (literally) a karaoke room.  Best weekend ever!!!

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October was of course Halloween, and we got down with our bad selves…and Bob the Builder.

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In November I actually had a REAL Thanksgiving, none of that Pho shit (pardon me, it’s just not suitable cuisine for Thanksgiving).  Josh Rich was also in town as my 6th visitor to the Orient. A Happy Happy Turkey Day it was!

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And last but not least, I think the winner for best December event goes to my dance crew’s (WORD TO YO MAMA’S HIGH WAISTED JEANS) epic ass kicking in the 90s dance battle for the African kids. Real winners put in the effort, and effort we put in. Obviously you would know this had you been at our latke-rehearsal party, our cheese and crackers rehearsal party where Matty ripped his jeans, and our final rehearsal party that almost interfered with us attending the actual party because we were too focused on perfecting our dance.  What a BOMB DIGGITY way send out 2012!!!

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As you can see, 2012 was quite the year, and it’s been a pleasure looking back on it with you. Here’s to an even better 2013, and going home to America in 10 days!!!!!!!

PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE, HOMIEZ.

2 Morons Went To A Lady GAGA Concert

Well, this is for sure going to be the most embarrassing, moronic, completely stupid post I will ever write on this here blog.  Why? you ask.  Plain and simple, Collin and I are morons/pop concert music vets (turned amateur) and expected FAR MORE from a Lady GAGA concert. UGH. Please read on to feel good about yourself and laugh at our dismay.

To begin, I fucking L-O-V-E Lady GAGA and it has been a dream to finally check her off my list of pop divas I’ve seen in concert. Then I found out that she was kicking off her world tour in SEOUL while I’m living here, I thought HOLY SHIT, this will be AMAZEBALLZ. Collin and I scurried to buy tickets  on the crackpot Korean site a couple months ago and I have been bumping Lady GAGA even more than I do on the regz, and that’s a lot. So you can imagine how many subway rides consisted of the Lady bumpin in my ears.

Fast forward to Friday. In between classes I was watching GAGA videos, after classes I was blasting GAGA from the amazing speakers in my classroom.  Left school, headed to Holley’s to get glamorized and drunk for the festivities. I planned my whole outfit to slightly mirror the “Marry the Night” video plus hot pink lipstick. It felt like Halloween 2.0.  Collin was last minute scrambling for fishnets, liquid leggings, caution tape, mini florescent tank tops…anything that would convey GAGA~GAY and that she is the devil by Korean standards.  Here’s me doing his makeup, and then us just sexing up the camera.

This is where the haziness of this night begins. We left Holley’s around 7:45pm maybe (not sure, but I think). Collin changed into Steph’s liquid pleather leggings on the street, and we bolted for the subway.

We got to Olympic Stadium probably around 8:15pm thinking that there was going to be an opening act on the stage so it was fine that we got there a tad after the schedule 8pm show. We heard GAGA songs coming from the stadium, but we just assumed it was a track playing, because that’s what it sounded like, that’s normal for concerts back home before the act goes on, and plus there were so many people just outside the stadium! NEWSFLASH: No opening acts and everything starts promptly per the ticket here in Korea.

Well, we bolt to get inside, and Collin and I lose everyone and start scopin out how we’re gonna sneak down to the front. We find a railing lacking any form of security guard, we hoist ourselves over it and jump to the level below. I got “caught” one of the five times that we did it, mid-strattle, and all the 2 “security guards” said was “No.” and I carried on walking briskly through the lower level. Guess they’re just not used to people not following the rules here in Korea.   Please keep in mind that while this is happening GAGA is in fact on stage performing.  We were just so convinced that it was a cover band because there were zero close ups, it sounded like pure track, her hair looked like GAGA circa 4 years ago, there were 2 catwalks which were not used, most importantly, she was wearing PANTS. AND on top of that, I was expecting a complete madhouse because I’ve always heard that Asian fans are the nuttiest.  But no. they were all literally just standing there with arms crossed.  SEE?!

All signs led to GAGA cover band, because that seems normal for Korea too.  The only thing that made us question our judgement was the occasional time she spoke to the crowd, or rather, yelled FUCK to the crowd.  There were about 6 times that Collin and I stopped in our tracks, stared at each other and said “I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. IS IT HER?!” Meanwhile, I was texting my friend Jeremy who I thought was telling me insider info, that yes, she goes on after the cover band around 11pm.  That got lost in translation because he didn’t realize he was talking to a couple of morons who THOUGHT they were watching a cover band.  He just wanted to find out when people were leaving the concert to go to dirty Hongdae. Erg.

We found a few aisles that we scoped out for “when the concert actually started” where we could post up. So, in short, the entire concert Collin and I were scoping out the perfect place for the concert that was never going to happen because it was already happening. We probably paid attention to max 3 songs. In fact, I can remember the 3 songs we paid attention to ~ Americano, Paparazzi and Just Dance.  We were so set on the fact that we were watching a cover band. During the encore, we were in the concession area taking photos and being annoyed that our phone service wasn’t working so we could tell the rest of our crew to come down and sneak up with us.

After the encore, I asked some Koreans why they were all running/leaving. They looked at me blankly and continued running. Collin and I even ran over to the area that looked like the gateway to the floor so that we could get a prime seat for THE SHOW. We were asked to leave because the “show was over.”

So, that’s the tale of how two GAGA fans were made to look a fool. At least it’s an amazing story.  I still believe that the show was extremely tailored for konservative Korea.  If you didn’t hear, all the super Christians turned to prayer to ask God to prevent the concert from happening in Seoul because Lady GAGA worships the devil and will turn people gay and will make them watch pornography.  Basically, they think she is the spawn of Satan. NEWSFLASH, but your 5th grader probably already watches porn on his Samsung smartphone.

Here is the one photo that Collin and I have of us with Lady GAGA at the concert.  And I believe we said “let’s take a photo with the GAGA cover band behind us.” UGH.

At least I didn’t pay hundos for this concert, otherwise I woulda probably gone and watched some porn, turned gay and killed myself for paying all that money to see Satan’s offspring.